Unexpected
For the last 2 or 3 weeks my weight loss plan hit a wall and it really took a toll on me. I had lost 22lbs up to that point. And the advice I found online (myfitnesspal) told me focus on journaling my food. And so I did. I also stepped up the exercise by increasing the intensity.
The scale did not move. For almost a month. I started laughing when I would weigh myself because it was so ridiculous. I also found myself frustrated. I tried increasing my caloric intake. I tried reducing my exercise. I tried to shock my system.
I kept reminding myself that all this effort was not in vain. In the back of my mind I knew it was due to some sort of internal girl rhythm and that all my hard work would eventually catch up with my body. But honestly, it took everything I had to not give up and quit. Like. I had conversations with myself out loud. I had to talk myself into every walk home. And then the number on the scale stopped mattering.
In the last week and a half I have dropped almost 5 pounds. I'm sure that is part water retention/part fat (even though I was religiously watching my sodium intake). Anyway, as of this morning I'm at 27lbs.
The other thing I've been dealing with is the fact that when I look in the mirror I don't see the weight loss. Well, I see it in my face and in my calves but that's it. So, I have this new ritual of trying on clothes that I had saved from the last time I lost weight. And it's so funny how honestly shocked I am when each item fits. It's like my trigger. And only then do I believe/see the changes.
So, I had this realization the other day about weight loss and why, in my head, it's always felt like something unattainable. Here I sit, having completed my undergrad, working full time and taking a full course load. I also managed to find a new job, work as a research assistant, and get into grad school. And now that I'm in grad school, I'm working harder than I've ever had to work to stay afloat.
School has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Given my past experience and relationship with post-secondary education, losing weight should be easy in comparison. And if I love myself enough to give myself the gift of a couple of degrees, then surely, I love myself enough to make myself healthy, and to present the person I envision in my head to the rest of the world.
I know that I'm going to hit another plateau next month. But I think I now have the mental tools to get through it.
Also, I went on a date yesterday. He kissed me on the cheek. It was a really perfect afternoon.
The scale did not move. For almost a month. I started laughing when I would weigh myself because it was so ridiculous. I also found myself frustrated. I tried increasing my caloric intake. I tried reducing my exercise. I tried to shock my system.
I kept reminding myself that all this effort was not in vain. In the back of my mind I knew it was due to some sort of internal girl rhythm and that all my hard work would eventually catch up with my body. But honestly, it took everything I had to not give up and quit. Like. I had conversations with myself out loud. I had to talk myself into every walk home. And then the number on the scale stopped mattering.
In the last week and a half I have dropped almost 5 pounds. I'm sure that is part water retention/part fat (even though I was religiously watching my sodium intake). Anyway, as of this morning I'm at 27lbs.
The other thing I've been dealing with is the fact that when I look in the mirror I don't see the weight loss. Well, I see it in my face and in my calves but that's it. So, I have this new ritual of trying on clothes that I had saved from the last time I lost weight. And it's so funny how honestly shocked I am when each item fits. It's like my trigger. And only then do I believe/see the changes.
So, I had this realization the other day about weight loss and why, in my head, it's always felt like something unattainable. Here I sit, having completed my undergrad, working full time and taking a full course load. I also managed to find a new job, work as a research assistant, and get into grad school. And now that I'm in grad school, I'm working harder than I've ever had to work to stay afloat.
School has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Given my past experience and relationship with post-secondary education, losing weight should be easy in comparison. And if I love myself enough to give myself the gift of a couple of degrees, then surely, I love myself enough to make myself healthy, and to present the person I envision in my head to the rest of the world.
I know that I'm going to hit another plateau next month. But I think I now have the mental tools to get through it.
Also, I went on a date yesterday. He kissed me on the cheek. It was a really perfect afternoon.