miss u guys
so yes i don't think i will be writing over the weekends cause im paranoid that someone in this house will read what i write... so i'll just write when no one is home like now... man i have really been missing u guys... i haven't been able to stop crying all weekend excluding friday... this is how the weekend goes...
Friday: my cousin jenny went with her boyfriend to go for her license... when her and my aunt and her boyfriend came home my aunt told us she was taking us out to dinner... so off to denny's we went... it was me my cousin manny jenny danny jen's boyfriend my aunt and her bf jr... so we all ordered and out of everyone i was the only person there who was able to finish my whole dinner... whell then after dinner we went back to the house and when i was smoking my clove in the back my cousin came out to ask me if i had money to go to the movies... and i did so we left...
we were going to see duce biggalo male jiggalo 2 but we all wanted to be high first... so my cousin was calling her connect... and she couldn't pull through so my cousin called his connect and got us a 20 peice of crippy... then we drove to my cousin's connect and blazed with her... it was ok i really bairly talked to her... and stayed with my cousin manny and jen's boyfriend... it really is hard to make new friends down here... no one wants to talk to u... everyone has a problem with everyone for no reason... so after we finished smoking we left to the movies... everyone in the car couldn't beleive how high they were... but i just stayed quiet cause i didn't want to tell people that i wasn't high... and anyways with how red my eyes turn none of them would beleive me anyways... but anyone who knows me knows it will turn red the second i take a hit...
so the movie was really good and we didn't get home till 2:30... then after i made my bed a sat and masterbated... the perfect ending to the only good day for me this weekend...
Saturday: ok so saturday i don't wake up till noon... and when i woke up my aunt told me right away that today would be a day of cleaning because people were comming over... u two girls to clean the room and do urs and dannys laundry... (yea i know all my cousins names rhyme)... but now that jenny has her license she cleaned her room (but it was bairly a mess) and left me to do all the laundry... and my cousin manny left even before jenny did... so after a while of laundry... once i finished i had nothing to do...
then the people arrived... there was two 12 year old 13 year old and a baby... the rest were adults and neither of my cousin were there for me to hang out with so i just sat around by myself... finally my cousin manny got back and so did jenny but jenny only came back to get her boyfriend who was with my cousin manny playing basket ball... but before she left she told manny when i come back u better be ready to go... i asked manny what she was talking about and he told me that she asked him eirlyer if he wanted to go out with her and her friends that nigth... and he told me he didn't even ask she asked him...
so hearing that news made me even more depressed because not only was i by myself with no one to talk to but my own cousin would invite her own brother and exclude me in her plans hanging out with her friends... so i asked my aunt if i could use her phone to call one of my friends... first i called jess... but her phone was busy... then i called dan and guess who was with him... the only person i wanted to talk to all weekend cause i missed the most... jessica... but they were playing frisbee golf... whatever that is... so i didn't want to bother them and let them go...
so there i was all alone with out even being able to talk to my friends so i went to my room and closed the door and cried... when guess who walked in... dum dum dum... my cousin jenny she asked her boyfriend to leave the room and asked why i was crying and i told her i just miss my friends... so she told me to wait there and she was going to get isis to come say hi to me... and she did but while she was talking to me she also told her mom i was crying... so then my aunt came in the room and made everyone else leave so she could talk to me... she asked me what was wrong and when i told her she made me change my outfit and gave me money to go hang out with my cousins... i told her i wasn't really in the mood to go out but she wouldn't take that as an awnser... so i changed and went to the car to go ice skating for the first time...
before we left though my cousins got in a fight and that gave us a hard time leaving... jenny said to her friends she didn't want to go if her brother was going... and isis wasn't havein it... she told jenny that that was unfair to invite him and then tell him he couldn't go just because she was mad... so we didn't really leave untill my aunt came over and yelled at jenny... (all this happening without manny even knowing)... so we all got in the car but we didn't want to go and ice skate sober so isis drove us to mannys dealer so he could get three nick bags of regs...one for him, jen's boyfriend, and hilery... yes there were 6 people in the car and 4 in the back seat...
so we rolled 2 of them and got on the highway to go ice skating when... dum dum dum... there was an accident... so finally when we got passed the accident we only had an hour for the ice skating ring to be open... so since the exit we were near was close to isis's grandmothers house she said why don't we all just go to my grandmotheres pool... so before we went to the pool we stoped and smoked mannys blunt... so isis pulled over and we smoked... isis don't smoke though and it was funny cause she had a car full of stoners and she didn't smoke at all... and when we started driving again she forgot which way to her grandmothers house...
but we eventually got there...and isis gave everyone clothes to ware to go in the pool... she was about to give me and hilery a white shirt but hilery wouldn't take it cause it was white... but i told isis that since im a nudest i don't care if mine is white... so i had fun in the pool... and the funnyest thing happened... i bust my ass getting out i was turning a corner and just fell... i don't know how it happened but it did... so we all laughed including me... and we even played chicken fight... i won of course... but i couldn't still help missing my friends... i kept thinking i have never been so warm in a pool before and my friends would really enjoy how good this feels too cause it was never this warm up in connecticut...
so then we left and went to 7-11 i wanted to see if they sold my cloves and isis wanted a black and my cousin manny wanted ciggs... so i go in there and not only did they not sell my cloves but they had no flavored blacks... so i just picked up a banana filly and a pack of bogies for my cousin manny... but this is the really shisty thing... hilery was so ready to spark the 2nd blunt... but jenny wouldn't let her cause she was saying even thought we all put eye drops in her mom would still know if we were high... but that wasn't why she said that... so we get to the house and jenny packs her stuff and goes to leave to sleep over isis's and her boyfriend's house (isis and jen's boyfriend tito are brother and sister)... and leaves with the other 2 blunts...
Sunday: i didn't wake up till 11:30... and when i woke up my aunt wanted to have a talk with me... she told me that my cousin jenny was very upset yesterday because all the other girls wore colored shirts and i wore a white shirt and when i went in the water it was see through... well we had a talk and after she left the room the phone rang and it was dan...i talked to him for five minutes cause i wasn't really in the mood to talk to anyone i was even more upset with the new news that i was giving by my aunt and told him i would call him back later...
i was even more upset that my cousin was mad at me for wareing a white shirt... i kept thinking to myself that i hate it here i hate that i don't have friends to call my own and i have to ware shirts that are colored in the pool because these people aren't my friend and they aren't comfortable with me like my friends are... and i couldn't do anything but cry myself back to sleep... and all this happened is a span of 15 minutes...
3:00 and i finally wake up... i go take my shower and after my shower my aunt comes in my room to have another talk with me... she told me her boyfriend walked in my room and say my book of tarot and got really mad because he doesn't beleive in it and doesn't want it here... whiched pissed me off so bad is started to cry infrount of her... what i don't understand if he don't beleive in it than why does it matter... but whatever... after i finished crying she told me to put on my shoes cause we were going shoe shopping for my new job that i start on monday at 4...
so we get some shoes and come home and guess who calls me... dan... so he starts talking to me and asked me if i felt myself yet and i told him no but i would talk to him anyway... then i started thinking and i was so depressed that i realized that alls i wanted to talk to was jessica... oh u already missed her she already left for camp dan said... she went shopping with her mom at ten and left at 12... i was already crying on the phone while talking to dan but when he told me that and me knowing i slept all day so i missed that last time i could call jessica for a whole week oh i just really couldn't stop the tears this time i was balling so hard and i just couldn't stop... i was so mad at my self for being so depressed that all i did was sleep and miss calling jessica because of it... but i stilled stayed on the phone which made me feel not very but a little better...
then my anut told me to get off the phone... so i did but something wasn't feeling right about my tarot cards... i mean i was having a weird vibe from them for a while but something just didn't feel right so i was going to clean them and give them energy when i decited to go throught them... and guess what i found... alot of my cards were missing... like gone poof goodbye... and that was the last that o could take... i don't think out of the who weekend i have ever cried that hard and that long i just didn't want to live anymore... i had no friends no money no cloves no weed and no tarot cards to atleast comfort me...
so there i was in my bed laying there too upset to want to move... then my aunt comes in the room and tries to get me to watch movies with her so i stop pining over what i can't control... but i didn't want to alls i wanted to do was die there... so i layed till i was in a state where i was asleep and awake at the same time... when my cousins came home... i heard my aunt yelling but i couldn't understand what about cause i wasn't fully awake...
then i heard pushing and screaming and i get up and my cousin manny and jen's boyfriend are holding my aunt down as her and my cousin jenny were screaming at eachother... jen went straight to her room to pack some things and my cousin manny was trying to tell his mom not to go over there cause she was going to make it worse... she listened for like 2 minutes but then in the room she went to tell jenny to get out of her house when... dum dum dum... manny and tito had to come hold my aunt down again cause she went after my cousin jenny...
whell jenny grabed a few things and left and manny went too... but before he left my aunt said oh ur gonna leave too whell then give me ur keys... and then he left too... she was so hella mad that she took the picture of jenny in her graduation gown and smashed it to the grown... (just like a PR woman to take glass and throw it when they're mad)... and warned me all night not the let either of them in today...
so yes that was my weekend... sorry it was so long... for u guys who read it (which i predict was no one) ur a good reader... (expecially knowing the fact i have a big font)... but for those who didn't for shame on u cause here i am missing u guys and u won't even read how much... aeh i don't really care...
~tasha~
Friday: my cousin jenny went with her boyfriend to go for her license... when her and my aunt and her boyfriend came home my aunt told us she was taking us out to dinner... so off to denny's we went... it was me my cousin manny jenny danny jen's boyfriend my aunt and her bf jr... so we all ordered and out of everyone i was the only person there who was able to finish my whole dinner... whell then after dinner we went back to the house and when i was smoking my clove in the back my cousin came out to ask me if i had money to go to the movies... and i did so we left...
we were going to see duce biggalo male jiggalo 2 but we all wanted to be high first... so my cousin was calling her connect... and she couldn't pull through so my cousin called his connect and got us a 20 peice of crippy... then we drove to my cousin's connect and blazed with her... it was ok i really bairly talked to her... and stayed with my cousin manny and jen's boyfriend... it really is hard to make new friends down here... no one wants to talk to u... everyone has a problem with everyone for no reason... so after we finished smoking we left to the movies... everyone in the car couldn't beleive how high they were... but i just stayed quiet cause i didn't want to tell people that i wasn't high... and anyways with how red my eyes turn none of them would beleive me anyways... but anyone who knows me knows it will turn red the second i take a hit...
so the movie was really good and we didn't get home till 2:30... then after i made my bed a sat and masterbated... the perfect ending to the only good day for me this weekend...
Saturday: ok so saturday i don't wake up till noon... and when i woke up my aunt told me right away that today would be a day of cleaning because people were comming over... u two girls to clean the room and do urs and dannys laundry... (yea i know all my cousins names rhyme)... but now that jenny has her license she cleaned her room (but it was bairly a mess) and left me to do all the laundry... and my cousin manny left even before jenny did... so after a while of laundry... once i finished i had nothing to do...
then the people arrived... there was two 12 year old 13 year old and a baby... the rest were adults and neither of my cousin were there for me to hang out with so i just sat around by myself... finally my cousin manny got back and so did jenny but jenny only came back to get her boyfriend who was with my cousin manny playing basket ball... but before she left she told manny when i come back u better be ready to go... i asked manny what she was talking about and he told me that she asked him eirlyer if he wanted to go out with her and her friends that nigth... and he told me he didn't even ask she asked him...
so hearing that news made me even more depressed because not only was i by myself with no one to talk to but my own cousin would invite her own brother and exclude me in her plans hanging out with her friends... so i asked my aunt if i could use her phone to call one of my friends... first i called jess... but her phone was busy... then i called dan and guess who was with him... the only person i wanted to talk to all weekend cause i missed the most... jessica... but they were playing frisbee golf... whatever that is... so i didn't want to bother them and let them go...
so there i was all alone with out even being able to talk to my friends so i went to my room and closed the door and cried... when guess who walked in... dum dum dum... my cousin jenny she asked her boyfriend to leave the room and asked why i was crying and i told her i just miss my friends... so she told me to wait there and she was going to get isis to come say hi to me... and she did but while she was talking to me she also told her mom i was crying... so then my aunt came in the room and made everyone else leave so she could talk to me... she asked me what was wrong and when i told her she made me change my outfit and gave me money to go hang out with my cousins... i told her i wasn't really in the mood to go out but she wouldn't take that as an awnser... so i changed and went to the car to go ice skating for the first time...
before we left though my cousins got in a fight and that gave us a hard time leaving... jenny said to her friends she didn't want to go if her brother was going... and isis wasn't havein it... she told jenny that that was unfair to invite him and then tell him he couldn't go just because she was mad... so we didn't really leave untill my aunt came over and yelled at jenny... (all this happening without manny even knowing)... so we all got in the car but we didn't want to go and ice skate sober so isis drove us to mannys dealer so he could get three nick bags of regs...one for him, jen's boyfriend, and hilery... yes there were 6 people in the car and 4 in the back seat...
so we rolled 2 of them and got on the highway to go ice skating when... dum dum dum... there was an accident... so finally when we got passed the accident we only had an hour for the ice skating ring to be open... so since the exit we were near was close to isis's grandmothers house she said why don't we all just go to my grandmotheres pool... so before we went to the pool we stoped and smoked mannys blunt... so isis pulled over and we smoked... isis don't smoke though and it was funny cause she had a car full of stoners and she didn't smoke at all... and when we started driving again she forgot which way to her grandmothers house...
but we eventually got there...and isis gave everyone clothes to ware to go in the pool... she was about to give me and hilery a white shirt but hilery wouldn't take it cause it was white... but i told isis that since im a nudest i don't care if mine is white... so i had fun in the pool... and the funnyest thing happened... i bust my ass getting out i was turning a corner and just fell... i don't know how it happened but it did... so we all laughed including me... and we even played chicken fight... i won of course... but i couldn't still help missing my friends... i kept thinking i have never been so warm in a pool before and my friends would really enjoy how good this feels too cause it was never this warm up in connecticut...
so then we left and went to 7-11 i wanted to see if they sold my cloves and isis wanted a black and my cousin manny wanted ciggs... so i go in there and not only did they not sell my cloves but they had no flavored blacks... so i just picked up a banana filly and a pack of bogies for my cousin manny... but this is the really shisty thing... hilery was so ready to spark the 2nd blunt... but jenny wouldn't let her cause she was saying even thought we all put eye drops in her mom would still know if we were high... but that wasn't why she said that... so we get to the house and jenny packs her stuff and goes to leave to sleep over isis's and her boyfriend's house (isis and jen's boyfriend tito are brother and sister)... and leaves with the other 2 blunts...
Sunday: i didn't wake up till 11:30... and when i woke up my aunt wanted to have a talk with me... she told me that my cousin jenny was very upset yesterday because all the other girls wore colored shirts and i wore a white shirt and when i went in the water it was see through... well we had a talk and after she left the room the phone rang and it was dan...i talked to him for five minutes cause i wasn't really in the mood to talk to anyone i was even more upset with the new news that i was giving by my aunt and told him i would call him back later...
i was even more upset that my cousin was mad at me for wareing a white shirt... i kept thinking to myself that i hate it here i hate that i don't have friends to call my own and i have to ware shirts that are colored in the pool because these people aren't my friend and they aren't comfortable with me like my friends are... and i couldn't do anything but cry myself back to sleep... and all this happened is a span of 15 minutes...
3:00 and i finally wake up... i go take my shower and after my shower my aunt comes in my room to have another talk with me... she told me her boyfriend walked in my room and say my book of tarot and got really mad because he doesn't beleive in it and doesn't want it here... whiched pissed me off so bad is started to cry infrount of her... what i don't understand if he don't beleive in it than why does it matter... but whatever... after i finished crying she told me to put on my shoes cause we were going shoe shopping for my new job that i start on monday at 4...
so we get some shoes and come home and guess who calls me... dan... so he starts talking to me and asked me if i felt myself yet and i told him no but i would talk to him anyway... then i started thinking and i was so depressed that i realized that alls i wanted to talk to was jessica... oh u already missed her she already left for camp dan said... she went shopping with her mom at ten and left at 12... i was already crying on the phone while talking to dan but when he told me that and me knowing i slept all day so i missed that last time i could call jessica for a whole week oh i just really couldn't stop the tears this time i was balling so hard and i just couldn't stop... i was so mad at my self for being so depressed that all i did was sleep and miss calling jessica because of it... but i stilled stayed on the phone which made me feel not very but a little better...
then my anut told me to get off the phone... so i did but something wasn't feeling right about my tarot cards... i mean i was having a weird vibe from them for a while but something just didn't feel right so i was going to clean them and give them energy when i decited to go throught them... and guess what i found... alot of my cards were missing... like gone poof goodbye... and that was the last that o could take... i don't think out of the who weekend i have ever cried that hard and that long i just didn't want to live anymore... i had no friends no money no cloves no weed and no tarot cards to atleast comfort me...
so there i was in my bed laying there too upset to want to move... then my aunt comes in the room and tries to get me to watch movies with her so i stop pining over what i can't control... but i didn't want to alls i wanted to do was die there... so i layed till i was in a state where i was asleep and awake at the same time... when my cousins came home... i heard my aunt yelling but i couldn't understand what about cause i wasn't fully awake...
then i heard pushing and screaming and i get up and my cousin manny and jen's boyfriend are holding my aunt down as her and my cousin jenny were screaming at eachother... jen went straight to her room to pack some things and my cousin manny was trying to tell his mom not to go over there cause she was going to make it worse... she listened for like 2 minutes but then in the room she went to tell jenny to get out of her house when... dum dum dum... manny and tito had to come hold my aunt down again cause she went after my cousin jenny...
whell jenny grabed a few things and left and manny went too... but before he left my aunt said oh ur gonna leave too whell then give me ur keys... and then he left too... she was so hella mad that she took the picture of jenny in her graduation gown and smashed it to the grown... (just like a PR woman to take glass and throw it when they're mad)... and warned me all night not the let either of them in today...
so yes that was my weekend... sorry it was so long... for u guys who read it (which i predict was no one) ur a good reader... (expecially knowing the fact i have a big font)... but for those who didn't for shame on u cause here i am missing u guys and u won't even read how much... aeh i don't really care...
~tasha~