(no subject)
today, i had three panic attacks.
these are beginning to take over my life.
im trying to understand what is causing them, because over the past year they have gotten worse. 2006 is definitely a year of nervousness.
i would say its smoking, which would be an understandable cause, however i havent smoked in like 2, maybe 3 months.
I just cant figure it out. pLus i have been down recently.
probably because this whole summer i have been home just eating, and getting fat.
well i mean i go out, but because i work at home, i am always home.
i miss rohans mom.
random yes, but today i was making calls for my mom and rohans mom was on this piece of paper. and i was like awww i miss her.
i hope i see her soon.
i miss ro too.
but i will live.
im going to austin thursday night, well im plannin on it.
rory and the artificial heart is playing as well as young love, dans new band. they arent recover, and i totally wish they were but they are alright.
seriously my life would be SO much better if, Recover would get back together and play, Interest Kills would have kept the band the way it was, and play, a new Harry Potter would come out, even if it was like a 6 and a half book, if school would start and i had something to do all day, if i could please get a new car so i could go places, if my best friend would stop being dumb and come see me because he needs to, if my bf would try and understand what i go thru and stop getting upset and then telling me hes not really upset, but because i accused him he is now, if i could hang out with someone who understands me, like hmmm no one, if orientation would start, if i could take a few days for myself and not miss ben like crazy, (dumb i know) if i could just make me happy by myself with out the help of another.
i think i need to work on a lot before i go to school.
its nice to write what im thinking, however im not too sure i want everyone to read it.
life goes on i guess.
its 8:30, i have to fix bens hair because i messed it up yesterday.
on another note, yesterday was probably the best day i have had in probably 3months.
it was mine and bens 5month and he made me soo happy. however today was not. oh well, i guess everyday cannot be perfect, or can it?
these are beginning to take over my life.
im trying to understand what is causing them, because over the past year they have gotten worse. 2006 is definitely a year of nervousness.
i would say its smoking, which would be an understandable cause, however i havent smoked in like 2, maybe 3 months.
I just cant figure it out. pLus i have been down recently.
probably because this whole summer i have been home just eating, and getting fat.
well i mean i go out, but because i work at home, i am always home.
i miss rohans mom.
random yes, but today i was making calls for my mom and rohans mom was on this piece of paper. and i was like awww i miss her.
i hope i see her soon.
i miss ro too.
but i will live.
im going to austin thursday night, well im plannin on it.
rory and the artificial heart is playing as well as young love, dans new band. they arent recover, and i totally wish they were but they are alright.
seriously my life would be SO much better if, Recover would get back together and play, Interest Kills would have kept the band the way it was, and play, a new Harry Potter would come out, even if it was like a 6 and a half book, if school would start and i had something to do all day, if i could please get a new car so i could go places, if my best friend would stop being dumb and come see me because he needs to, if my bf would try and understand what i go thru and stop getting upset and then telling me hes not really upset, but because i accused him he is now, if i could hang out with someone who understands me, like hmmm no one, if orientation would start, if i could take a few days for myself and not miss ben like crazy, (dumb i know) if i could just make me happy by myself with out the help of another.
i think i need to work on a lot before i go to school.
its nice to write what im thinking, however im not too sure i want everyone to read it.
life goes on i guess.
its 8:30, i have to fix bens hair because i messed it up yesterday.
on another note, yesterday was probably the best day i have had in probably 3months.
it was mine and bens 5month and he made me soo happy. however today was not. oh well, i guess everyday cannot be perfect, or can it?