Same old crap

[beautyinsideyou]

Today was another boring day. School sucked .. and coming home to this house is a frustrating moment. and for some odd reason i decided to call my ex (dominique) and of course i didnt find what i was looking for ... the feeling of his love. i dont know why i try.. i mean ive recently found someone else (Trin) who is the sweetest person and everything im looking for. he is uncontrolably funny and makes me smile like crazy, he's really nice and says the sweetest things to me, he's mexican (if u all didnt know, i have a thing for hott ass mexicans) and he's 21. and i mean ive actually finally started to get over dominique. I've been doing good. but for some reason i continue to still call him. I mean i want to ... im not gunna be like well ok since i have someone new im just gunna straight up leave you.. im not like that. I care about him sooo much and still love him with all my heart... but i know now that it will never be the same with me and him. Im not ashamed to admit that i still miss him because i do and i still love him with all my heart.. but im realizing it now that we can't have what we used to have. And i mean i know he's getting over me also. and im happy because thats what i want to see from him. I couldnt make him happy so i want him to find someone to put that gorgeous smile back on his face. And for all who knows me and the deals with me and dominique.. its suprising im saying all this. I could honestly say this guy was my "True Love". he knew everything about me and was always there for me. and straight up... this break up we had was hard on me. After we broke up shit went way down hill for a while. I got so down that i just started fuckin everything up. school was shit to me, friends were just another food on the plate i had to deal with, and i was threated 2 times to be kicked out of my house.. im almost 17 .. where the hell would i go?! and things with me and dominique got even worse.. he stopped talking to me for a while and had ended up fuckin with some other gurl because he was mad at me. but i mean ive done pretty well now. ive gotten back on my feet after falling.. but im still confused on which direction to go. I mean im still sad that were not together but im happy because ive finally started to realize that ill be ok. But i dont know what to do with my feelings that i have left for him.. i dont know wether to show him or to just keep it inside of me and let it pass .. if they ever do..
"should i cry because it ended or smile because it happened?"
"should i smile because were friends or cry because thats all we'll ever be?"