(no subject)
Life...
is just hard right now.
It's so fucking difficult, in every aspect of the word.
I feel vulnerable, breakable, fragile.
I feel lost, overwhelmed, confused.
I've realized a lot, discovered a lot, and received a lot.
And I just don't know how to deal with all of it.
And when I do, am I making the right choices?
Did I make the right choice?
I just don't know if I can handle everything right now.
I won't give up, but I will get as close to giving up that a person can without actually doing so.
I'm not strong. I am weak. I am not determined. I am lazy.
I'm not trusting...
I'm suspicious.
I'm not nice. I'm a bitch.
I'm not who you think I am,
I'm not who I think I am.
Who the hell am I?
I've lived most of my life with a weight heavier than my own body strewn out across my chest, the most important protector of all, for it holds my heart.
My heart is shrinking and wondering.
The pain and confusion and hastiness and lack of trust and religion and questioning and indepence...it's pressing down. Hard.
I'm not different, I'm not unusual, I'm not better, I'm not perfect.
I just don't know anything. I hope it all gets better.
But I think that for as long as I live, nothing will ever be 100%.
I guess I'm okay with that. It's just taking some time to deal with.
is just hard right now.
It's so fucking difficult, in every aspect of the word.
I feel vulnerable, breakable, fragile.
I feel lost, overwhelmed, confused.
I've realized a lot, discovered a lot, and received a lot.
And I just don't know how to deal with all of it.
And when I do, am I making the right choices?
Did I make the right choice?
I just don't know if I can handle everything right now.
I won't give up, but I will get as close to giving up that a person can without actually doing so.
I'm not strong. I am weak. I am not determined. I am lazy.
I'm not trusting...
I'm suspicious.
I'm not nice. I'm a bitch.
I'm not who you think I am,
I'm not who I think I am.
Who the hell am I?
I've lived most of my life with a weight heavier than my own body strewn out across my chest, the most important protector of all, for it holds my heart.
My heart is shrinking and wondering.
The pain and confusion and hastiness and lack of trust and religion and questioning and indepence...it's pressing down. Hard.
I'm not different, I'm not unusual, I'm not better, I'm not perfect.
I just don't know anything. I hope it all gets better.
But I think that for as long as I live, nothing will ever be 100%.
I guess I'm okay with that. It's just taking some time to deal with.