(no subject)
i really hate myself sometimes. (not in the i'm going to kill myself kind of way, but rather in the way where i wish i could act differently than i do under certain circumstances).
and i feel like a bad person a lot of times.
and i don't want to be this way, why do people get under my skin?
i forgive and forgive and let people get away with so much and i'm always nice and i never hold grudges, and i let people walk all over me, and after a while it just wears me down and i flip out. i hate it.
it's quite lovely when someone you thought was your friend goes around telling those you care about most that they shouldn't hang around you because you're a whore and carry STDs, which i don't thank you very much. and the fact that they said all of this pretty much in front of my face and then turn around and act like nothing is wrong like they are my best friend?
is this done in jealousy? i don't really understand why someone would feel the need to spread rumors and take my friends away.
it is all so petty, and i really don't understand pettiness. how people can be so enthralled by it.
i'm sorry for being bitchy, but it hurts that other people can be and i am always supposed to be nice. i'll just plaster this smile on my face and call it good...how bout that?
***i deleted all the comments, i would delete the blog but i can't yet...i thought we were okay with this now? if not please talk to me and let me know what's up***
and i feel like a bad person a lot of times.
and i don't want to be this way, why do people get under my skin?
i forgive and forgive and let people get away with so much and i'm always nice and i never hold grudges, and i let people walk all over me, and after a while it just wears me down and i flip out. i hate it.
it's quite lovely when someone you thought was your friend goes around telling those you care about most that they shouldn't hang around you because you're a whore and carry STDs, which i don't thank you very much. and the fact that they said all of this pretty much in front of my face and then turn around and act like nothing is wrong like they are my best friend?
is this done in jealousy? i don't really understand why someone would feel the need to spread rumors and take my friends away.
it is all so petty, and i really don't understand pettiness. how people can be so enthralled by it.
i'm sorry for being bitchy, but it hurts that other people can be and i am always supposed to be nice. i'll just plaster this smile on my face and call it good...how bout that?
***i deleted all the comments, i would delete the blog but i can't yet...i thought we were okay with this now? if not please talk to me and let me know what's up***