(no subject)
So tonite my mom, brothers, g-ma and I went to LaLos for dinner. After that we went and looked in the Halloween Shop next door to it, and I don't know why it suddenly hit me tonite and not sooner, but looking around that store just reminded me that the last 3 years I haven't been a lone on any holiday.. This is going to be my first holiday without Danco. A lone. That scares me and it hurts me so much to think about. Everyday I hurt cuz I don't have him.. but like, this just makes it worse because I don't have him now with all these up-coming holidays, and it's different.. I'm totally not use to it, at all. I sound dramatic and confusing probably, but I can't help it. I can't even really put it into words exactly how I feel. I'm just doing the best that I can right now. And thinking it thru over and over in my head, it's so much more than what I'm actually typing out, but the rest of it for some reason (if this makes any sense), I can't define into actual words? I don't even know. I'm so confused and hurt. I don't wanna do anything but sit in my room and dwell, and that won't help anything, I know. Especially since he's not at home dwelling over me. He's working and keeping busy.. with her. I swear to gawd, sometimes I really just fucking hate my life.
The time came when I saw that there was more than this. The memories it seems I'll always miss. Those empty dreams, those broken seams, it's all the same. It still hurts when I hear your name..
The time came when I saw that there was more than this. The memories it seems I'll always miss. Those empty dreams, those broken seams, it's all the same. It still hurts when I hear your name..