Since You've Been Gone, I Can Breathe For The First Time
Life is so silly. As soon as you think you have something figured out, you realize you were wrong all along. When Joe left me, I begged for him to stay. I sat out in the cold for hours telling him how happy he made me. I told him that I've never loved myself until I met him. I told him that his love is all I need to love myself. But, I was wrong. I've always loved myself, I just needed someone to show me how to. And now that he's gone, I still love myself. I don't need a guy, or anyone for that matter, to be happy with who I am. He didn't show me how to love myself infact, in the end he showed me that I don't need anyone in this world to be happy with myself. I don't want to have to depend on another person in order to be happy with who I am, that is just sad. The truth is, I am happy with myself. I know I'm not perfect, infact, I'm completely imperfect, but isn't that what makes us all beautiful? I know that when I say 'I love you' I genuinly mean it. I know that I have a good heart. I know that I have a deep passion for caring about people, and I don't need a guy to show me that. I loved Joe, I did. I still love him. But if he came back to me, there is no possible way I would ever give him the light of day. I may have loved him, but what him and I had was never love. Love doesn't turn its back on you the way he turned his back on me. And realizing this, makes me so strong. I haven't cried since forever. I haven't even gotten sad since forever. Because I realized that he is the one who got fucked over in the end. I have great friends, a great personality, and I have direction in life. Him? He's lost. It feels so good to finally realize that you don't need anyone to love yourself - but yourself. Its amazing, Joe would describe me as the most "emo" (meaning emotional) person he knows. My friends who've known me for a while would probably call me one of the weakest (emotionally) people they know, so you ask, why am I doing so well without the one I love? And I will tell you - as soon as you realize they never loved you, you just have to move on.