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i had a dream... with this deperation to dive inside... i spilled my face into a mirror... and slid my palms down the edges to carve the image of myself... damage the lifeline round my thumb... my puples sank into my face and i saw blood under my skin... i witnessed bone... i wanted to touch it... i started with a tiny hole and burned it away till my skin fell to the floor as ash... and i traced the bone... i was real.... in desperation to know my love... i placed a bloody finger to my chest and felt four chambers... i wanted to kiss it... clawing at my pigment at first was red... then my flesh striped away and fell to the earth to cradle the ash... crimson washed down my belly and trickeled at my toes... i took a nail and cracked away my breast bone discarding each peice... i dug around the remains of my tar dreanched lungs... i felt the pulse and wraped my tiny fingers around what held love... i held it out and let the blood twist down my arm... i bared this heart shaped flesh like a bleading child.. and tears met the surface... my lips pressed aganst it and i tasted salt... i was real.... my love was real... with the bone of my face exposed and my chest hollowed out... i felt whole i felt love... i felt me...