(no subject)
i'm so over all of this drama crap. honestly, when is it ever going to end? can't we all just grow the fricken hell up and move on. stop living in the past, and stop bothering everyone else with it. LKSJHDHSDF. whatevs.
he's mad at me for a mistake i made. yeah, it was a mistake. people make them all the time, there is nothing i can do about it now? i'm not going to regret it or anything like that. it's just part of my past now. oh well, i'm sorry that i disappoint you.
i want so badly to just get over it, and not let it get to me. but i just seem to keep thinking about it, and that shit you said. you don't even know what it did to me to hear you say that stuff. i can't even look at you the same anymore.
i'm glad that i have you, and hopefully this time i won't be stupid and petty and make things how they were before. you really do put me in better moods. it's crazyy. i was just thinking about it, haha. YEAH.
i've been getting way behind. and then today, that thing.. it made me like pay attention? it was really weird, and i kinda want to have that feeling agian. but i know if i do it again, it'll get to me. and then i'll regret it, and hate myself even more.
things have been way weird between us, ever since that big talk. i really hate it. you're one of my best friends, and if i lose you because of something she gets mad over.. i think i will cry. i kinda want to cry just thinking about the possiblity of not having you there? it's just hard. jsafhl blah duude. blah.
i'm really glad that it was just a rumor. if it were true, i think i would go crazy... i'd probably not want to talk to you for a really long time. i don't think i would be able to look at you the same.
i want to be with him, but then i don't. and then the fact that i know i can never be with him again, really hurts. but oh well. nothing i can do, right?
love, renae.