--- GAME OVER.
the past. one of the many things that mess with my mind. it makes me so insecure about myself. it's so bad that it even affects my relationship with people. sometimes they just don't realize it. no matter how much you convince me, my paranoia may never cease to exist. at least a tad bit of doubt will be there. then the past messes with the question of trust. is it really testing that border- the trust between two people? or is it just the test of trust within yourself? i don't think i can believe myself when the truth is right in front of me.. especially when it itself is telling me what's right.
it's so funny how the past can be so cruel to you. i can tell you right now a secret. it's silently f/cked up one of my friendships that i can't even be around them. i will ditch every single event no matter how much i'd be looking forward to it, knowing that they're there. they're a threat i guess. just because i've known something. and before.. it didn't bother me because i was happy elsewhere. but now i'm happy here and it bothers the life out of me. i would like to smash my head against this f/cking computer screen. i honestly would rather die than to have this selfish.. THIS FUCKING SELFISH.. feeling inside of me. and the best part is.. no one understands what i'm talking about. and don't even bother asking about it because i blog here knowing that i don't have to answer ANYBODY'S QUESTIONS!!
so fuck you, i'm done.