Turns you around...
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to go back, grow together again.
Make different decisions, ones involving same futures.
I wonder if he'd like that, or if in fact it would just hurt him more.
The thought of him now, after everything, all the words of misplaced love and regret... all of the silence that cut through both of our hearts... it doesn't cause reaction anymore.
I can honestly say that I really don't feel much. And for some reason, this scares me.
I used to be able to look back and remember... remember all we had--good and bad. Now it's like a massive blend of sound and color, swirling together and losing track of time.
And could this really be the definition of lost love?
Sometimes I think that I'm never going to be able to feel that way again. The happiness... the real kind. The ability to completely lose myself in someone else.
I don't think I can. I don't think my heart will allow it.
Damn you previous experience. Damn you.
These memories stored deep, only proving their existance in the most nonchalant of ways, stand in the way. A barrier that can never be broken, and I am much too fragile to let anyone try. Because even though I will sit and profess myself under skin, I will feel nothing. Or close to nothing.
My eyes are old. Faded. Sparkless.
And all of this seems like a wish upon a shut-eyed wonder. A hopeless breath of air when no one's listening.
Make different decisions, ones involving same futures.
I wonder if he'd like that, or if in fact it would just hurt him more.
The thought of him now, after everything, all the words of misplaced love and regret... all of the silence that cut through both of our hearts... it doesn't cause reaction anymore.
I can honestly say that I really don't feel much. And for some reason, this scares me.
I used to be able to look back and remember... remember all we had--good and bad. Now it's like a massive blend of sound and color, swirling together and losing track of time.
And could this really be the definition of lost love?
Sometimes I think that I'm never going to be able to feel that way again. The happiness... the real kind. The ability to completely lose myself in someone else.
I don't think I can. I don't think my heart will allow it.
Damn you previous experience. Damn you.
These memories stored deep, only proving their existance in the most nonchalant of ways, stand in the way. A barrier that can never be broken, and I am much too fragile to let anyone try. Because even though I will sit and profess myself under skin, I will feel nothing. Or close to nothing.
My eyes are old. Faded. Sparkless.
And all of this seems like a wish upon a shut-eyed wonder. A hopeless breath of air when no one's listening.