<3
So I just read Gaby's journal, and I can definitely relate to how she feels.
I'm so stressed about everything lately, and at the same time, so over it.
Chippewa Valley High School has gotten on my last nerve,
As well as almost every single person in it.
I'm so tired of hearing about the drama..
To be quite honest --
I don't care who said what about who, which slut hooked up with another random guy this weekend, or whose life sucks the worst.
Is it bad to say that I don't give two shits about any of those things?
There's so much more important things out there in life to worry about..
Nobody in the real world cares about who you were in high school.
"Friend" is such a weird word if you really think about it.
To me, a friend is someone that you can always count on no matter what.
Somebody that will be there and understand you.
I think a friend is someone that you don't have to see everyday,
But you always pick up right where you left off with them.. as if nothing ever changed.
I look at the people that I think are my friends, the ones I've spilled all my secrets to..
And I wonder if any of them are going to be in my life a year from now.. 10 years from now.
I have a lot of aquaintances, a lot of people I talk to, and a lot of people I call my friends,
But I don't know if any of them would be there for me if I ever REALLY needed them..
I've lived 18 years of life, and I don't know if I've ever had a real friend.
And that really bothers me.
Sometimes I get scared that people are going to forget me.
I remember everything, and have so many memories with so many different people.
I always wonder if they remember the same things,
Or will ever sometime in their life, look back and be like, "I'll never forget this one time, Kate and I..."
I hate when people I know or used to hang out with walk right past me in the hallways..
It makes me sad to think that they don't consider me a good enough reason to stop and see how I'm doing.
I always make a point of being like "hey whats up" or giving a little wave to the people I used to spend time with.
I care about everybody that I've had a past with, why not show them that I do?
Kind of a random thought --
You always hear that there's somebody for everybody, and that God knows who you're supposed to be with...
But how do YOU know?
Do you get a certain feeling, like.. does your heart start beating out of your chest with butterflies attacking your stomach fluttering at what seems to be 100 mph?
Or is it just one of those things that you tell yourself the minute you see them that they're the one you're going to be with for the rest of your life?
Seriously, how do you know?
I've thought I've been in love a few times now, and I've never been right.
Is it even possible to fall in love when you're eighteen years old?
You're supposed to know when you love somebody,
But I thought I knew, and I was wrong.
Life's so confusing sometimes.