oh so mixed
In a way I care.. in a way I don't.
Truthfully, I think it bothers me to the point where I've become numb to it.
I'm so fed up with this game I've been playing for years,
Allowing it to constantly eat away at my emotions,
Spending all this time worrying about what you thought.
Ever since I was little..
That's a long time to live in 'fear'.
You mean nothing to me,
And it hurts to say that sometimes,
But most of the time, it feels pretty damn good.
Thank you, CPM, for making me see it.
I watch as they all slowly fade away..
Why doesn't it bother me?
Because I know that the real ones, the TRUE ones, will always stay.
They'll never leave my side.
Maybe I haven't met them yet.
It's just something that happens as you grow up --
You realize it's less important to have more friends,
And more important to have real ones.
If there's anything in this screwed up world that I believe in.. it's God.
And God makes me believe in love,
And love makes me believe in myself.
I love God, I love love, and I love myself.
That's all that matters.
I think it's happening, REALLY happening.
I'm excited,
I'm nervous,
I'm emotional,
And I'm scared all at the same time.
I'm full of passion and fear, and full of hope and faith.
Sometimes I think it's spilling out of me,
Giving everybody else a taste.
I've never felt this way before.
Don't you love it?
It's amazing.
I know I'm confusing at times, and my entries are probably hard to follow.
But God, it feels so good..
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd,
Cause these words are my diary screaming out loud,
And I know that you'll use them however you want to.
Truthfully, I think it bothers me to the point where I've become numb to it.
I'm so fed up with this game I've been playing for years,
Allowing it to constantly eat away at my emotions,
Spending all this time worrying about what you thought.
Ever since I was little..
That's a long time to live in 'fear'.
You mean nothing to me,
And it hurts to say that sometimes,
But most of the time, it feels pretty damn good.
Thank you, CPM, for making me see it.
I watch as they all slowly fade away..
Why doesn't it bother me?
Because I know that the real ones, the TRUE ones, will always stay.
They'll never leave my side.
Maybe I haven't met them yet.
It's just something that happens as you grow up --
You realize it's less important to have more friends,
And more important to have real ones.
If there's anything in this screwed up world that I believe in.. it's God.
And God makes me believe in love,
And love makes me believe in myself.
I love God, I love love, and I love myself.
That's all that matters.
I think it's happening, REALLY happening.
I'm excited,
I'm nervous,
I'm emotional,
And I'm scared all at the same time.
I'm full of passion and fear, and full of hope and faith.
Sometimes I think it's spilling out of me,
Giving everybody else a taste.
I've never felt this way before.
Don't you love it?
It's amazing.
I know I'm confusing at times, and my entries are probably hard to follow.
But God, it feels so good..
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd,
Cause these words are my diary screaming out loud,
And I know that you'll use them however you want to.