Easy (1/1)
Title: Easy
Characters: Donna and the Doctor
Spoilers: None!
Rating: Teen, because I know your smutty little brains. :p
Notes: written for Weekly Drabble Challenge #4 at doctor_donna. Prompt was 'curve'.
More notes: special thanks to loves_glamour for looking this over. ♥
"Quick! In here!”
The Doctor bounded the rest of the way down the hall, Donna in tow, and skidded to a stop in front of a small broom closet. Donna let out a tiny shriek of surprise as he picked her up by the waist and practically threw her inside, scrambling in after her.
“Whew, that was close,” he said, grinning. “So, are you having a nice time?”
“A nice time?” Donna replied flatly. “A nice time?!”
The Doctor nodded. “You said you wanted a nice dinner, and I couldn't think of a better place.”
“Listen, Doctor,” Donna began, swatting his hands away when he motioned for her to lower her voice, “the people here want to talk about nothing but how fabulous they are, I can't recognize half of what they're serving -not to mention I don't particularly feel like getting the plague- and I'm stuck up so tight in this dress the TARDIS 'carefully chose' for me that I can barely breathe, much less eat all the stuff they've got out there. Not to mention that the bloody thing's from the wrong century so they're all laughing at me. So do you think I'm having a nice time?”
“But you really look nice,” he said with a smile. “Much more attractive than the other women out there with all their stupid jewels and fancy hats and all that. I'm surprised half of them can walk around with how many diamonds they're wearing.”
“I'd look good in diamonds,” Donna mused absently, then shook her head and glared at him again. “And watch it, Doctor. You better not be running your beady little alien eyes all over me, or I'll let you have it. And scoot away, would you? We're a bit too cozy if you ask me.”
The Doctor scooted over about an inch and pointed toward the door. “If we were any farther apart you'd knock the door open, and then they'd know where we were. And,” he added hesitantly, “I wasn't running my eyes over anything, I just noticed how pretty you look tonight. Better than Lizzy for sure.”
“Lizzy?!” Donna rubbed between her eyes, groaning in frustration. “Well now I at least know why we're being chased. First you park in the middle of her garden, then we crash her party. Then you had to make that comment about how if she wanted an heir she probably should have found someone a few years ago. And then you call her Lizzy? We're never going to be able to come back anywhere near this time period!”
“Funny you should mention that,” the Doctor muttered, then they heard the guards coming and he pulled Donna against him so the closet door could close. He smiled innocently as they stood pressed up against each other in the small space. “Comfy?”
Donna shifted awkwardly and suddenly gasped, pulling away as much as she could safely manage. “What's the big idea?”
The Doctor stared at her quizzically and she looked down. “What?” he asked, and Donna huffed, pointing to the curve that had appeared toward the front of his pants. “Oh, that!” he whispered brightly.
“Yes, that,” Donna hissed. “For an alien, you sure act like a normal bloke. I can understand that whole thing with Madame de Pompadour and I happen to know for a fact that you had a thing for that Queen What's Her Face -don't give me any of that Jezebel nonsense because I know you enjoyed all that 'be my slave' rubbish a little bit more than is healthy- but I'm you're flipping friend. You don't....well, you know....with your friends. That's just disgusting.”
“I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about,” the Doctor whispered. “Maybe you're getting a bit overheated in that dress.” He stared at her with concern for a moment, then gestured down toward the lump by his pocket and smiled. “So what do you say? We might as well do it while we're in here. Not like we're going anywhere for a while.”
“You'll be going somewhere,” Donna muttered. “Then we'll both be overheated.”
“Donna, I don't understand what the problem is. I carried it around all the time when I was with Rose, and sometimes Martha wanted it, though we never used it for the same thing -Rose and I had much more similar taste- but I've left it on the TARDIS ever since you came on board because I figured you wouldn't be interested. You're a bit....older,” he said, faking a cough to cover up the word, “and more independent than they were so I thought you could fend for yourself, but I brought it tonight because....don't get cross with me, but I think you're a bit picky. I wanted to make sure you'd enjoy yourself, so I thought I'd bring it along, just for this evening, and then if you wanted me to keep it with me from now on I can.”
“It's detachable?! How in the-” Donna's hand clamped over her mouth. “Never mind, I don't want to know. And how could you even think I'd want you to bring it along?”
“Well, to be honest I carry it along more often when I don't have a companion with me.” The Doctor completely missed the horrified look on Donna's face as he patted his pocket proudly and grinned. “It's really quite nice to have in situations like this, where you don't know if you're going to be able to go anywhere for a while. Keeps your energy up, and besides- Donna?”
“You're disgusting,” Donna whispered, almost tumbling out of the closet as she backed away from him even further.
The Doctor grabbed her to make sure she didn't fall and she closed her eyes, trying to ignore the awkward feeling as he steadied her against him. “Be careful,” he cautioned quietly. “If they catch us we'll probably lose our heads or something. I know it seems like a cliché, but it happens more often than you think. Now,” he continued, “what do you think? I can tell you need it, Donna, so don't tell me you're fine. Come on, shift a bit so I can get it out.”
“Excuse me?!”
Donna was about to protest further when she saw the Doctor move his jacket out of the way. Immediately she closed her eyes and turned away slightly, muttering under her breath as she heard strange noises coming from the Doctor.
“Oh, bugger, it's stuck,” he whispered. “Just give me a minute. I think the last time these pants got washed they shrunk a bit. Not as big on the inside as they used to be, and it was hard enough to fit this in them anyway.”
“Such a male,” Donna repeated, and blindly reached out to smack him. The Doctor squealed as her hand made contact with something soft and furry and Donna squeezed her eyes shut even tighter. “I am going to kill you....”
“Don't touch that,” he instructed shortly, “and open your eyes, or else you'll hurt yourself when I give it to you.” She stood perfectly still and after a moment she felt the Doctor's hand on her arm. “Donna, come on, open your eyes. It's going to be hard enough to do it properly in the dark anyway, and it's going to be nearly impossible if you've got your eyes shut the whole time.”
Finally Donna cracked her eyes open and saw the Doctor holding something. “Ah, there we are,” he greeted her cheerily. The object in his hand dinged quietly and he looked down at it, grinning. “Impressive, isn't it? You know, this is where humans got the idea for them.”
“Doctor, you are such a....wait a minute, is that it?”
The Doctor nodded, then reached inside the small box to remove a small sandwich. “One of my first toys as a child, though it was because I got it from my sister. Someone from the Time Agency found the Master's when we were kids and took it back to Earth. Made a bloody fortune, but they couldn't figure out how to power it. Easy Bake indeed,” he scoffed. “The things have to be plugged into the wall. This little fellow runs on time energy, so as long as the universe doesn't explode it'll keep working.” Donna stared at him in disbelief and he held the small box toward her. “Well, go on. I know you didn't eat anything before we left.”
Donna continued to stare at him and finally the Doctor pointed toward a small keypad on the side of the device. “I've been wanting a peanut butter and banana sandwich all evening and now I'll finally get one,” he explained, grinning. “Now, it should make just about anything you like, so just type it in and wait a couple minutes. And if you'll hold this, I can find....” He shoved his hand back in his pocket and pulled out a small plastic pouch. “Ah, there we are! Jam! I love jam, don't you?”
Donna rolled her eyes, nodded distractedly, and started punching in the code that would provide her with a banana to shove down his throat.