long time no see
So, it's been forever and a day since I posted. I have another journal, at xanga, but I rarely write in that one either. Mostly because I feel like I can post what I'm feeling, for fear someone that I'm talking about will read it, and also there are some people that read it, that I don't want them to know certain things.
Life has been on the okay - good scale. It's been mostly work, sleeping, and computer. (What else is new.) I work at Kohl's during the day, my availabilty until 3pm. Last couple of weeks has been shitty hours, this week I have 22. Pathmark sucks, as always. My availabilty after 3:30. Hours are semi-okay there, I usually pick up a shitload during the week though (tonight for example, scheduled til 8, worked til midnight.) When I have off from Kohl's I end up over-sleeping, which makes me more tired, like right now.
My friends situation is kind of on the sucky side. One of my best friends, Edd, went into the Navy, and for two months we didn't talk because he was in boot camp. Now he's on a base, with computer and phone, and I barely call him. I feel like a horrible friend for that, but I'm not sure what to do. He is in "class" all day, I'm at work, he goes to bed early. When he's not in bed early, he's drunk, and I hate talking to drunk people. My friend, Kari, whom I was wonderful friends with before she met the friend previously stated, is awesome. Edd was interested in her, which I had no problem with (given our history together), asked my opinion on dating her. I gave him my honest opinion about DATING her, not being friends with her, which was, "I wouldn't wish her on my worst enemy." Harsh, I know, but nothing but the truth. She has nothing but problems with guys, and I don't think she knows what she wants yet. I don't want to see Edd end up hurt. So, he told her what I said. We stopped talking for awhile, up until right after he got out of bootcamp. Not sure what happened, but she said she missed me and such. We're okay, but I don't fully trust her. I think she has alternative motives behind being friends with me again. And also about 2 weeks ago, Kari and Edd decided to be a couple. Which is cool. My friend, Kelly, whom I've been friends with since 10th grade (6 years), is finally pushing my buttons to hard. Maybe it's because I've matured a lot in the past couple of months, or because she's gotten more immature. She's 20, 21 in August, and hangs out with 17-18 yr olds. She thinks she's in love with about 5 different guys, whom are all good looking of course, because she's shallow. Whenever we "talk" about our problems, she'll go on and on, and when I try to imput with my problems, she goes right back to her. My opinion on her right now is that she's an immature, shallow, self-centered person. And I do NOT need that. My friend, Scott, I've been "best friends" with him since 10th grade also. I put best friends in quotes, because I'm not quite sure if that's what we are anymore. We fight on and off. We've had two big fights, one in which we didn't talk for 6 months, which was the fall-winter of 2002. We just had another that lasted from just after Christmas to the end of March or beginning of April. When we become friends again, nothing is ever said about the time we weren't talking, we don't talk about why we fought. It's just what we do. This time, when we made up, it was weird, I didn't think that we were going to go back to the way we always were. But, recently, I've realized we are back to the way we were. And, I'm not sure if I like that or not. I'll figure it out.
My love life, on the other hand, is absolutely amazing. I have met the man of my dreams. He is everything I have ever wanted, and ever wanted in loving someone. His name is Steve, and although there is a big age gap between us, 20 years, I never feel like there's a difference. There is also a big distance gap between us, 3000 miles. I live in NJ, he lives in CA. I have met him twice in the year we have known each other. I went out to Las Vegas right after my birthday, and that was the first time I met him. The second time, I went out to California, near Los Angeles, to go to a wedding with him. We're planning another trip this summer, not exactly sure where or when. But he is amazing. He makes me smile, he warms my heart. And although he has flaws, I still love everything about him. I've been making his Valentine's Day gift. (Don't ask. haha) And It's very, very special. I'd say what it is, but he's probably going to read this, and I don't want to spoil it. But, I KNOW he's going to love it. If anyone would like to know what it is, just comment and I'll leave you a messege. ;D
Alright, that's enough for one night.
Life has been on the okay - good scale. It's been mostly work, sleeping, and computer. (What else is new.) I work at Kohl's during the day, my availabilty until 3pm. Last couple of weeks has been shitty hours, this week I have 22. Pathmark sucks, as always. My availabilty after 3:30. Hours are semi-okay there, I usually pick up a shitload during the week though (tonight for example, scheduled til 8, worked til midnight.) When I have off from Kohl's I end up over-sleeping, which makes me more tired, like right now.
My friends situation is kind of on the sucky side. One of my best friends, Edd, went into the Navy, and for two months we didn't talk because he was in boot camp. Now he's on a base, with computer and phone, and I barely call him. I feel like a horrible friend for that, but I'm not sure what to do. He is in "class" all day, I'm at work, he goes to bed early. When he's not in bed early, he's drunk, and I hate talking to drunk people. My friend, Kari, whom I was wonderful friends with before she met the friend previously stated, is awesome. Edd was interested in her, which I had no problem with (given our history together), asked my opinion on dating her. I gave him my honest opinion about DATING her, not being friends with her, which was, "I wouldn't wish her on my worst enemy." Harsh, I know, but nothing but the truth. She has nothing but problems with guys, and I don't think she knows what she wants yet. I don't want to see Edd end up hurt. So, he told her what I said. We stopped talking for awhile, up until right after he got out of bootcamp. Not sure what happened, but she said she missed me and such. We're okay, but I don't fully trust her. I think she has alternative motives behind being friends with me again. And also about 2 weeks ago, Kari and Edd decided to be a couple. Which is cool. My friend, Kelly, whom I've been friends with since 10th grade (6 years), is finally pushing my buttons to hard. Maybe it's because I've matured a lot in the past couple of months, or because she's gotten more immature. She's 20, 21 in August, and hangs out with 17-18 yr olds. She thinks she's in love with about 5 different guys, whom are all good looking of course, because she's shallow. Whenever we "talk" about our problems, she'll go on and on, and when I try to imput with my problems, she goes right back to her. My opinion on her right now is that she's an immature, shallow, self-centered person. And I do NOT need that. My friend, Scott, I've been "best friends" with him since 10th grade also. I put best friends in quotes, because I'm not quite sure if that's what we are anymore. We fight on and off. We've had two big fights, one in which we didn't talk for 6 months, which was the fall-winter of 2002. We just had another that lasted from just after Christmas to the end of March or beginning of April. When we become friends again, nothing is ever said about the time we weren't talking, we don't talk about why we fought. It's just what we do. This time, when we made up, it was weird, I didn't think that we were going to go back to the way we always were. But, recently, I've realized we are back to the way we were. And, I'm not sure if I like that or not. I'll figure it out.
My love life, on the other hand, is absolutely amazing. I have met the man of my dreams. He is everything I have ever wanted, and ever wanted in loving someone. His name is Steve, and although there is a big age gap between us, 20 years, I never feel like there's a difference. There is also a big distance gap between us, 3000 miles. I live in NJ, he lives in CA. I have met him twice in the year we have known each other. I went out to Las Vegas right after my birthday, and that was the first time I met him. The second time, I went out to California, near Los Angeles, to go to a wedding with him. We're planning another trip this summer, not exactly sure where or when. But he is amazing. He makes me smile, he warms my heart. And although he has flaws, I still love everything about him. I've been making his Valentine's Day gift. (Don't ask. haha) And It's very, very special. I'd say what it is, but he's probably going to read this, and I don't want to spoil it. But, I KNOW he's going to love it. If anyone would like to know what it is, just comment and I'll leave you a messege. ;D
Alright, that's enough for one night.