I JUST NEED TO KNOW

[beautifulhearts]

Hi. Today was not such a good day. I woke up early and everything.....I even put my hair down.....but today was just an overall bad day. It started off good. Me, Danielle, & Darrion chilled in the gym lobby for 30 minutes I guess. Took some pictures & had a lot of good laughs. Did some flag & rifle stuff during first period......danced to Ciara some (lol). Biology was okay I guess. Found out I have an 83/C......that's really bad. If I didn't pass the exam, I'm dead. World History was freakin retarted. I think I failed the quiz. Band was fucking stupid. I hate band class now. Math wasn't the greatest either. We didn't have a test in math because Mrs. Soodoo actually thought we shouldn't take a test on the last day of her class. So, we just turned in our take home test and some Christmas riddles for extra credit. I slept for 30 minutes. 20 minutes before school was out, I started having fun. When I went in the band room all my bad thoughts throughout the day came back. I had to hold back tears because I have so many bad things going on. I might not pass Biology & math......I don't have any money to get anybody nothin for Christmas......I lost my $20 (mom's gonna kill me)......my weight gain. It's so fustrating. And I feel bad for Darrion because he had a really bad day, too. He lost his chair to Thomas W. for All-County........he didn't pass Algerbra 2 or Spanish 2, and other things I'm not gonna say on here. I just wish I could do something for him, but I don't know what. I hate being all emotionally & ish, and it's so hard holding back tears.......I can't fail math or Biology. I can't afford it because my GPA is already fucking low as hell......and my heart can't take the screaming my mom will be giving me. I'm so fuckin dumb......why can't I be smart?? A lot of people just don't understand what people like me & Darrion go through on a daily basis. The only good thing throughout my day was Alex & my friends that made me laugh..........::sigh::

Trying so hard not to do it again.......it's too hard to cover up & hide....I just don't care anymore.

<3,
Kelly