(no subject)
Two breakdowns into my Latin final paper...
And I need to take breaks every 1/2 page I write.
But it's going to get done, I know it will. Maybe it won't be that good, and that makes me feel like crap... I know that I am capable of writing something worthwhile... something of consequence... I do have things to say about Sallust and Livy and Tacitus. THings that maybe havden't been said yet. Or at least in this way. Not to my knowledge, at least. But because I suck I am going to write a mediocre paper. It will be of minumum length and minimum insight. This makes me sad.
I can totally relate to what Jim was writing. I think that all too often, I forget what is really important in my life. It is not right for me to cry because I feel helpless because of this paper-- that is stupid. What matters is that I am not getting everything I could have out of this experience. I need to work on that.
What I mean is that I don't want to waste any more time. I want every minute of my life to count. I want to feel. If I watch a movie instead of studying I want to be conscious of that-- and I want to get something out of it. I don't want to just be a passive player in life. No more of that. It's enough. No more coasting. I'm leaving for Italy in just a few weeks... God help me if I don't make every second of it count. Apathy destroys a person... rips the will right out by the roots... and it is a tough job to grow a new one... I don't want that struggle.
And I need to take breaks every 1/2 page I write.
But it's going to get done, I know it will. Maybe it won't be that good, and that makes me feel like crap... I know that I am capable of writing something worthwhile... something of consequence... I do have things to say about Sallust and Livy and Tacitus. THings that maybe havden't been said yet. Or at least in this way. Not to my knowledge, at least. But because I suck I am going to write a mediocre paper. It will be of minumum length and minimum insight. This makes me sad.
I can totally relate to what Jim was writing. I think that all too often, I forget what is really important in my life. It is not right for me to cry because I feel helpless because of this paper-- that is stupid. What matters is that I am not getting everything I could have out of this experience. I need to work on that.
What I mean is that I don't want to waste any more time. I want every minute of my life to count. I want to feel. If I watch a movie instead of studying I want to be conscious of that-- and I want to get something out of it. I don't want to just be a passive player in life. No more of that. It's enough. No more coasting. I'm leaving for Italy in just a few weeks... God help me if I don't make every second of it count. Apathy destroys a person... rips the will right out by the roots... and it is a tough job to grow a new one... I don't want that struggle.