random ranting update
I felt like a good cry tonight...lucky my day my family watched movies. The whole gang watched "The Pacfier", yea the one with Vin Diesel, I cried...mhmm nice. Then we watched "The Upside to Anger" but I watched that just with my mom and dad. It was a really good movie, lots of lessons. Lately I've been reading things or watching things and really taking them to heart. I finished that book "Good in Bed" and it honestly changed my world, the very day I finished it I was totally turned around. What I learned from that book was this: life's too short to be unhappy, I thought I had learned this before but there's nothing like an emergency hysterectomy (not mine, the main character's) to put things into perspective. Also I need to take what life gives me, I can't change what's happening and all the pissing and moaning isn't gonna do anything but deter people from becoming my friends. Oh shit, he's moving on, he's really gone...even if he came back, I don't know if I'd be here. That thought is so scary and so hard to comprehend and come to terms with. I guess I never liked goodbyes, I never could completely rid someone from my life, I'm doing that now. I'm not saying he won't always have a part of me, I'm broken, I always will be. But I'll heal, I'll heal funny. It's like when you break your leg and it heals a little and then they have to re-break it so that it heals correctly. That's like my heart except I don't think it'll be re-broken and fixed for awhile. I think someone will come along and be my crutch, they'll be able to handle my broken leg and help me with it. Oh Christ I need to dance soon. This movie was good though because it was all about anger and emotions and shit like that. What I got from it was that the only upside to anger is who you become after it passes, but during your anger all it is, is a waste of your time and a way to fill air. Yes, the rage and passion of anger may be real, and when it passes you will become a new person, but during anger only causes more stress and anger among others. I don't know if that makes any sense. Oh yea and I'm going to church tomorrow, at 8:30 AM no less...who's proud of me