Enough Is Enough
I've decided I'm going to make a change. My grandmother had her 87th birthday today, and although I didn't get to see her, the conversation we had was very inspiring. I know I'm not going to find true (or permanent) happiness with ana. Once and for all, I'm going for a total life overhaul. I want to feel good, I want to have energy. I want to experience life to the fullest and not in the shadows of an eating disorder. I want to be like my Grandma, around to see my grandkids succeed. The clock is ticking...I don't want my batteries to run out, and I don't want to watch it pass me by. Somehow, I will find the motivation inside myself to change. I need to set some goals and do my best to adhere to them.
Some short term goals/things I would like to accomplish:
-Develop a healthier lifestyle. I want to rid myself of the urge to drown my pain in food, and to truly feel each emotion. I want to eat to nourish my body, and truly savor the things that go in my mouth. I want to look forward to exercise like I used to. I want to be physically fit and have athletic endurance. My short term weight goal is 120 pounds.
-Continue my education and start a career. I want to get a bachelor's degree and eventually a doctorate. I want to help young people become secure in their own skin. I want to be a middle school guidance counselor. I do what I need to to get my foot in the door.
-Establish and maintain solid female relationships. Same sex companionship is essential to one's sanity, especially during life changing times. I want to have bridesmaids at my wedding. I want to have girls nights out. This is an area of my life that is in a severe drought.
-Develop a relationship with God. I need to get spirituality back into my life. I need faith and hope. I need help finding myself and not be ashamed of the real me.
-Treat myself well. Over the past few months/years I have really let myself go. I want to enjoy being a girl (woman) again. I want to make time for bubble baths, manicures, and haircuts. I need to clean out my closet so that I can reward myself with some nice, new things. I want to treat these material objects as self-expression and not possessions.
-Take better care of my animals. It's sad to say but sometimes I neglect them. I want to clean and feed them regularly, play with them daily.
-Keep in touch with my family. After all, they're family!
I'm gonna do it.
Some short term goals/things I would like to accomplish:
-Develop a healthier lifestyle. I want to rid myself of the urge to drown my pain in food, and to truly feel each emotion. I want to eat to nourish my body, and truly savor the things that go in my mouth. I want to look forward to exercise like I used to. I want to be physically fit and have athletic endurance. My short term weight goal is 120 pounds.
-Continue my education and start a career. I want to get a bachelor's degree and eventually a doctorate. I want to help young people become secure in their own skin. I want to be a middle school guidance counselor. I do what I need to to get my foot in the door.
-Establish and maintain solid female relationships. Same sex companionship is essential to one's sanity, especially during life changing times. I want to have bridesmaids at my wedding. I want to have girls nights out. This is an area of my life that is in a severe drought.
-Develop a relationship with God. I need to get spirituality back into my life. I need faith and hope. I need help finding myself and not be ashamed of the real me.
-Treat myself well. Over the past few months/years I have really let myself go. I want to enjoy being a girl (woman) again. I want to make time for bubble baths, manicures, and haircuts. I need to clean out my closet so that I can reward myself with some nice, new things. I want to treat these material objects as self-expression and not possessions.
-Take better care of my animals. It's sad to say but sometimes I neglect them. I want to clean and feed them regularly, play with them daily.
-Keep in touch with my family. After all, they're family!
I'm gonna do it.