i;ve never wanted to die so much as i do now. my whole pathetic existence is just now hitting me. that butcher knife is 2 feet away, and i cant help thinking... should i get it? i wish i had enough energy to tell you all what happened but i dont think any of you will understand. basically since i was 8 i have always taken things that go wrong as being more than they are. then i hyperventilate and get nasues and collapse or even pass out. i even went to the er once because of it(my friend took me so my mom doesnt know). no one knows but me. my mom doesnt even know. nor do my dad or sister. because of this i overreact to everything and everyone is always telling me how i blow things out of proportion, but its like....i already KNOW that so why are you fucking telling me?! so almost everyday at school me knees go weak and i have to sit or catch my breath. because i get so upset at everything i cut myself. but everyone hates me and i dont matter so no one notices. ever. i dont wear long sleeves. nothing. no one sees the scars because they dont see the person. thats all for now, i gotta go.
i wish i had enough energy to tell you all what happened but i dont think any of you will understand. basically since i was 8 i have always taken things that go wrong as being more than they are. then i hyperventilate and get nasues and collapse or even pass out. i even went to the er once because of it(my friend took me so my mom doesnt know). no one knows but me. my mom doesnt even know. nor do my dad or sister. because of this i overreact to everything and everyone is always telling me how i blow things out of proportion, but its like....i already KNOW that so why are you fucking telling me?! so almost everyday at school me knees go weak and i have to sit or catch my breath. because i get so upset at everything i cut myself. but everyone hates me and i dont matter so no one notices. ever. i dont wear long sleeves. nothing. no one sees the scars because they dont see the person. thats all for now, i gotta go.
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