my first impression usually isn;t a good one. ppl say im quiet and it's hard for me to open up to ppl i dont know. sometimes i wonder if i have an real friends who truely care for me. consdiering most ppl at my school are fake. about my family life, well most ppl would think it's pretty normal. but my parents fight constantly, i wish they would just divorc already and get it over with. they say they are staying for me, but i could give a shit. i wonder sometimes if my mom even likes me at all. she thinks im wird and 'melencoly & never happy' whatever the fuck that means, maybe im just not happy when im with her. i've come pretty close to vutting myself, the only thing keeping me from it is my severe fear of blood. it's actually really odd. ever since i was little and i get a shot or see blood i would faint. im anemic and at one point was anorexic, not i have ednos. im trying to be healthy and get my life together, but its hard. i want to be loved. luckily i have one friend who i can relate to so much. i hope she really cares about me the same way i do about her. i used to not get along with her when i met her, but now were tight as hell. especially through all the fights and shit. i love cigerettes and pot. i know its bad and you can get lung cancer or w/e but i sometimes wanna die so its fine. im scared of my mom finding out the things i do. i think she would literally disown me or rewin my life forever.... i wanna run away and never come back. i wanna go to a new school where i know absolutely no body and be a loner and read all day. i might sound like an absolute loser but i dont care what anyone thinks about me. if i werent so insecure i probly wouldnt even wear any makeup. im not gonna amble on and on about all my problems when im sure i have things alot better then most of you guys do.
good luck on whatever you guys are trying to accomplish.
good luck on whatever you guys are trying to accomplish.
Reply
Leave a comment