(no subject)
"i never thought that i would lose my mind
that i could control this
i never thought that i'd be left behind
that i was stronger than you
and if only i knew what i've done
you know, so why don't you tell me
and i, i would bring down the moon and the sun
to show you how much i care.."
i swear.
this is killing me.
it hurts.
everything that's happened.
i've had to keep it inside-
because i know it's wrong.
it's tearing me apart.
i know too many times this has happened. too many times i've meddled and- confused myself. i'm sorry. i know i shouldn't- i don't do it intentionally. but now i'm lost, once again, no less- and the words of the others around me keep stabbing me.. right between the eyes. i know. stop reminding me.
i wish, how i wish.. that i didn't feel this way.
how can you be emotionally attracted to one person, but not physically..
and then almost the opposite with someone else? it's so unfair.
i hate how i become two different people- and i'm completely aware of it. with some people, i can say anything, not a care in the world. and i love that. i need that. that makes me feel compelete. but with my boyfriend- ovbiously..i can't be that open. i can't jus crack my head open and let him read everything. i don't want him to know.. a lot of things.
" i wish i didn't need you so bad..
your face just won't go away.. "
ugh.
yuck.
gross.
i don't know.
moving on.
(put on some gangsta music.)
mountains was fun.
hard- lol, we hiked so much.
but fun.
cold showers. but fun.or something like it.
waking ethan up was funny as woah.
he's like......."nerfekedfjklszf."
i laughed.
and apparently i wave ethan in front of jess's face.
i know i do it- but every girl does.
we're cute together- haha, what can i say.
i like bragging that my best friend is a hot piece of ass, leave me alone.
i think heather&sophie will prolly be better friends in the end of this.
sophie and i might take a break for a lil while- i donno- i think i need one.
before we start fighting. coz we conflict right now. or something like it.
katie and lynn are on the outs.
i don't want a two-faced friend.
but she keeps asking me to go to the y.
never anything more or less.
cept when we got our nails done.
that was a little more-
hmm.
i don't know.
i know we're having a girl's night sunday-
chels,heather,sophie&i. :) yes!
maybe the other chickyboo's from the party will come.
except like, jessica. i'll pass on having her at my casa.
k.
i'm done.
♥