02142020
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"Don't go back to your ex
(before I get into it, thanks so much for all the amazing feedback on "Confessions of a f***boy. We all deserve better relationships and to have more respect for ourselves, so act like it!)
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Things gets a lot easier when you realize that life is equal parts pushing yourself to START new things, explore, discover and yolo AND agreeing to STOP doing certain things.
Life is equal parts red lights and green lights. It’s equal parts yes and no.
It’s time we draw a line in the sand in our lives and agree to stop doing certain things.
It’s time we stop going back to old things, people and feelings.
It’s time we stop going back to who we were and instead move forward.
Get in the car, my friend. We’re hitting the road and we're moving forward.
I like to use the example of not getting back with your ex to illustrate.
In my experience, history together is not a good enough to reason to get back together with your ex. It’s not! That’s you seeking past comfort to avoid future uncomfortable growth.
- History is not a good enough reason.
- Knowing someone for a long time is not a good enough reason.
- Feeling guilty about moving on is not a good enough reason.
- Being scared of being lonely is not a good enough reason.
Bigger picture, not going back to your ex is a metaphor for all the things you shouldn't go back to in your life (SPOILER: there's a lot of them)
Remember the clean plate club where you finish what you start?
Let’s start the CLEAN SLATE CLUB.
Been there? Done that? Great! There’s no need to go back. Clean slate time.
There’s no need to go back to what was when you have what is and what will be right in front of you!
There's no need to go back to what was because you feel guilty for moving on, to who you used to be because it’s comfortable, to what you used to want because you feel lost at the moment.
Here's a list of other things I think you're better off not going back to.
- Arguing about meaningless stuff with people whose opinions shouldn't matter.
- Comparing yourself and your life’s path to people on the internet, siblings, friends, etc.
- Caring about old friends who don’t care about you.
- Taking criticism personally.
- Holding a grudge.
- Complaining about things you can't change.
- Feeling like you need to fix everyone or solve someone else’s problems.
- Blaming other people for your mistakes.
- Hoping that someone likes you or accepts you.
- Thinking that being alone means you’re lonely.
- Settling (in any sense).
- Treating your body like an amusement park (your health is EVERYTHING!)
Don’t go back!
Sometimes you need to (metaphorically) burn some brides to stop yourself from crossing them again.
Paulo Coelho said it best when he said that it's always important to know when something has reached its end.
Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn't matter what we call it, what matters is we leave in the past those moments in life that are over.
I think now is a great time to close some doors and affirm that some things, people and experiences have reached their end.
The present is waiting for you to appreciate it and the future is waiting for you to grab it.
So, let’s do it!
Move forward without hesitation. Appreciate what’s in your past but don’t go back to it. Use it to fuel your future.
Let's go."