(no subject)
I am so confused with everything in my life right now. I don't know what to do. Things all change so fast, and I am just hanging in the balance. I don't feel like I am actually living my life right now, I'm just going through the motions. I don't even know what I feel....but I know it's not good. Last night was the worse night I've had in a long while. Chris and I are very close to breaking up I think. But, I don't know what I feel about it. I know that I love him. But I also know that he makes me feel like shit sometimes. And last night he lied to me....but he thinks it's ok becasue he was mad at me. I just don't know if I can deal with someone who is going to be like that. But I know that I will be in just as bad of shape if we break up. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to feel. It doesn't matter what I say to him....he won't see it from my perspective. To him, he is right, and I am wrong. He won't admit that he has a share in the blame in this situation. I have already apologized for what I know I did worng...but he won't. It drives me crazy. I actually feel nauseous over this. I haven't felt this shitty since before I started dating him. I don't know what to do. I want to stay....but not if it's going to be like this. I just know in my heart that I can't deal with something like this again. My heart's not going to make it through this one. I can feel it already. The only person that can make it better, is the same person that is kicking it to shit.