(no subject)
I hate this place. I hate being here. I feel so alone here. I just want to go home. I want to go home. But I can't leave. I don't want to live with someone else's family. I don't even like these people. I don't fit in here. But I love Chris. I don't what to do. It's like...I feel shitty whatever I do. Fuck. I miss my family. My mom. I resent Chris. I resent that he gets to be with his family all the time....and I'm lucky if I see mine once every couple of weeks. He doesn't understand that he is all I have now. He just doesn't. He doesn't know how it is for me. To be here...with these people who are not my family. They will never be my family. Ever. I would rather still be living in that shitty little apartment than here. At least I had someplace to go there. Now I'm an hour away from everyone I love....besides Chris....and he can't always be with me....obviously. Because sometimes working on one of his vehicles is just more important than being with me. Yeah. So, what can I do? Nothing. And that's just what I'm doing. Nothing. Feeling miserable and hopeless, and doing nothing.