(no subject)
They say that your whole life flashes before your eyes before you die... well... my whole life flashed before my eyes tonight. So, i think that statement is false. Because I am certainly not dead... that much I know. What did I see... I saw... potential. Complete potential. Surrounded by some super surreal glowy light. lol.
But anyway. now.. i see wasted potential. But more like... stagnant potential... not wasted. never wasted. Stagnant potential.
I can still do something with it... it's not too late...
I am a completely different person after tonight. After the past three nights. No one will like me... or maybe everyone will like me more. haha.
I swear, this entire evening, has been one revelation after another... everything, i've gaped at like a child seeing something for the first time...
Not only am i focusing on things that are important... but i'm realizing things that aren't important anymore... things that i've been trying to hold onto. that i wish could still be important... but they just aren't. i have to move on. i have to stay strong. i have to grow, and learn. i really do just have to be. i can be an entity. i can be loved... if i let myself be.
i need to seperate myself from those who seek harm on me. and keep myself surrounded by those who see me for me... or may one day see. Those who never ask me to do anything that is counter-productive. ever. Those who can also just... be.
Existance... no need for resistance.
Existing in myself... and being happy with who that "self" is. That's what's importnat... so important... that I am happy with myself... I am an incredible person... I can be an incredible person...
We are all on our own platforms you know... they intertwine. And it makes life a little bit easier...
And Greg is a wonderful friend to the Sad One. I wish He were happy... but that is not in my power. My very limited power. My very limited knowledge. Essentially, I know nothing.
But i am perfectly okay with that.
But anyway. now.. i see wasted potential. But more like... stagnant potential... not wasted. never wasted. Stagnant potential.
I can still do something with it... it's not too late...
I am a completely different person after tonight. After the past three nights. No one will like me... or maybe everyone will like me more. haha.
I swear, this entire evening, has been one revelation after another... everything, i've gaped at like a child seeing something for the first time...
Not only am i focusing on things that are important... but i'm realizing things that aren't important anymore... things that i've been trying to hold onto. that i wish could still be important... but they just aren't. i have to move on. i have to stay strong. i have to grow, and learn. i really do just have to be. i can be an entity. i can be loved... if i let myself be.
i need to seperate myself from those who seek harm on me. and keep myself surrounded by those who see me for me... or may one day see. Those who never ask me to do anything that is counter-productive. ever. Those who can also just... be.
Existance... no need for resistance.
Existing in myself... and being happy with who that "self" is. That's what's importnat... so important... that I am happy with myself... I am an incredible person... I can be an incredible person...
We are all on our own platforms you know... they intertwine. And it makes life a little bit easier...
And Greg is a wonderful friend to the Sad One. I wish He were happy... but that is not in my power. My very limited power. My very limited knowledge. Essentially, I know nothing.
But i am perfectly okay with that.