erggg
Okayyyyy....
Whole thing about the katie thing. Thought about it, went with my gut feeling, and now I'm going to write about it. Yesterday at work I was thinkin about it, wanting to cry but didn't cuz i had cried earlier for like a freakin hour and then I asked crystal and hope about the whole katie thing. I told 'em that I ignore her b/c she annoys me sometimes and sometimes i'm just in a bad mood and dont wanna talk to her and I also told em that she doesnt call me a real friend and her major problem is dusten. And they were like shes just jealous. Then I was thought to myself, I never really pictured her as the jealous type but then again she's told me that she's been jealous of other people just really never showed it and I dunno I think that's why I never accused her. But now, it clicks ;X B/c Dusten is Katie's ex, he left her for me, he's been in love with me for a year, he's tried to get with me ever since July of last year, and he's crossing a couple of states to see me this summer and spend just about a month with me. Katie's never had that and I'm experiencing it and I think she thinks that i'm taking advantage of it and I dunno. I've never been that special to someone, for them to spend ohh, 4 grand on me, never had it. A grand to come here and like the other 3 in phone bills :XXXXX I've never been that special to someone so I'm being a lil snobby about it towards Katie I think and I understand why she's doing/saying the things she's said/done. And like now, I'm watching Oprah and its about a 14 yr old girl killing herself b/c so many people called her names, no friends (meaning high social status and like 100 friends lmao) but she did have 1 best friend. And the best friend didnt talk to her and the other girl killed herself and then the best friend felt guilty. And i'm thinking about that and I really don't want that to happen between me and katie. My heart is in the right place, its just all the other shit thats not.
And if Katie ever killed herself b/c of things going on at home, at school and then me adding on to it, I wouldn't be able to bare it. My heart has always been in the right place, and I hate when someone like Katie says its not, or basically said its not. I think what adds to it is the fact that me and katie dont go to the same schools anymore and thats why she feels like im really ignorin her, whether on the phone or net. But we both know that we always fight on the net and over the phone she wont come out and say "this is my problem" and I totally understand that, I used to be that way. I just wish she'd give me a hint and I think what we're going through now is a hint. I would just like some help from you katie to at least try and make it right for the last time. Come to an understanding without getting pissy at each other and without blockin, etc to each other. So whatever, call, email, IM whenever. I'm sorry for the things i've said and yes you can call me two-faced or whatever its just that i always feel bad when I say shit like that to someone like you
Whole thing about the katie thing. Thought about it, went with my gut feeling, and now I'm going to write about it. Yesterday at work I was thinkin about it, wanting to cry but didn't cuz i had cried earlier for like a freakin hour and then I asked crystal and hope about the whole katie thing. I told 'em that I ignore her b/c she annoys me sometimes and sometimes i'm just in a bad mood and dont wanna talk to her and I also told em that she doesnt call me a real friend and her major problem is dusten. And they were like shes just jealous. Then I was thought to myself, I never really pictured her as the jealous type but then again she's told me that she's been jealous of other people just really never showed it and I dunno I think that's why I never accused her. But now, it clicks ;X B/c Dusten is Katie's ex, he left her for me, he's been in love with me for a year, he's tried to get with me ever since July of last year, and he's crossing a couple of states to see me this summer and spend just about a month with me. Katie's never had that and I'm experiencing it and I think she thinks that i'm taking advantage of it and I dunno. I've never been that special to someone, for them to spend ohh, 4 grand on me, never had it. A grand to come here and like the other 3 in phone bills :XXXXX I've never been that special to someone so I'm being a lil snobby about it towards Katie I think and I understand why she's doing/saying the things she's said/done. And like now, I'm watching Oprah and its about a 14 yr old girl killing herself b/c so many people called her names, no friends (meaning high social status and like 100 friends lmao) but she did have 1 best friend. And the best friend didnt talk to her and the other girl killed herself and then the best friend felt guilty. And i'm thinking about that and I really don't want that to happen between me and katie. My heart is in the right place, its just all the other shit thats not.
And if Katie ever killed herself b/c of things going on at home, at school and then me adding on to it, I wouldn't be able to bare it. My heart has always been in the right place, and I hate when someone like Katie says its not, or basically said its not. I think what adds to it is the fact that me and katie dont go to the same schools anymore and thats why she feels like im really ignorin her, whether on the phone or net. But we both know that we always fight on the net and over the phone she wont come out and say "this is my problem" and I totally understand that, I used to be that way. I just wish she'd give me a hint and I think what we're going through now is a hint. I would just like some help from you katie to at least try and make it right for the last time. Come to an understanding without getting pissy at each other and without blockin, etc to each other. So whatever, call, email, IM whenever. I'm sorry for the things i've said and yes you can call me two-faced or whatever its just that i always feel bad when I say shit like that to someone like you