holy venting.
I should Update. It's been awhile, right?
Things are really good aside from complete stress in every department.
I guess i'm better at handling it. two years ago I would have had a mental breakdown by now. Both my dr and hairdresser said i'm losing my hair because of stress..... I think that is sort of incredible. Think about it.. thats usually a reference/joke...not for real.
I got my hair cut tonight. It's very normal looking and I don't really like that.
I have about 75 cents in my account when all my checks clear for bills this month. I put $700 towards my credit card....thats a lot of money...I'm not even going to tell you how much I still have on there. I think I'm going to open a new Credit card and get rid of the one I have now. Its a circuit city credit card that I used to buy my lap top...there is no reason for a 20 year old girl to have a circuit city credit card...right? right.
so the other day i said to my dad i'm broke. and he responds, "yeah? me too I'm paying your college bills!"
I FLIPPED OUT. he is paying one bill thats about $100 a month.MONTH. AND he adds it to my tab that i owe him...so who is really paying? me. because in the end i'll be paying him back every dime. Yes, I understand $100 a month is an expense ...But Let me remind you...he gives my deadbeat low life mother $100 A WEEK for doing nothing but wasting breath, energy, etc. So lets weigh this out shall we?
$100 a month towards college tuition that will be reimbursed 100% (to his only child who hasnt dropped out yet because of $$$)
compared to...
$100 a week to buy cigarettes ( a habit my dad despises), and other shit for nothing
and I'M the one being put on a guilt trip........yeah, fuck that.
on another note...
an outlook on my next few weeks and months, shall we?
Tomorrow: work/finals/work
Thursday: work/finals/finals
Friday:work
Saturday:work
(last weekend of illegal drinking anyone???)
rest of my life: work
next week is my break from class before winter tri ends. I'm going to try to work every second of it because I wont be able to work as much this winter tri.
the next weekend i'm 21 woot woot (nov 26). Finally no restrictions on my life..sort of. I just want to feel like an adult and stop getting made fun of by my 30 year old boyfriend.
then Winter Trimester starts:
Public Assembly Management
E-Commerce
Senior Seminar
Career capstone
Contemporary Issues in the Service Industry
then 3 weeks before the trimester ends I'll be waived out of all 5 classes and finals to move to nyc.
I'll be working for spiketv under the MTV networks Umbrella. I'll be in the building with comedy central, newsweek, spike etc, right next door to the mtv studios.
problem?? yeah , it's unpaid and I have to find a place to live in manhatten or close by.
I'm going to have to take out loans...to live,eat, breathe. that sucks.
after this loan and college tuition loans i'll be in debt about 75,000 when I graduate. Nevermind my car/credit cards.
then i'm in NYC till May or June then I have star Island. then i'm in the real world, looking for a place to live and a job that will get me out of outrageous amounts of debt. sweet.
So i'm liberal. A democrat (but registered independent) left wing..... but I have to vent about something and I might sound slightly republican. It worries me..but...it's how i feel....
Did you know some prisoners get free education??
Moms that spend their welfare and child support on drugs/concerts/alcohol get their bills paid with our taxes?
Did you know they have better chances of getting grants and scholarships than a dean's list white girl thats never been in trouble and has done nothing but volunteer and work hard?
I'm all for helping people get out of the hole, and getting their lives on track. ABSOLUTELY everyone deserves a SECOND CHANCE..
but what about those who work their lives away, miss out on highschool and college experiences, put themselves in outrageous debt to be "successful"...what happens to us??? If i ran somebody over with my car i'd get free education? If i chose not to use condoms or be safe and got knocked up i'd have somebody pay my rent, electric bill, child care while i spend every weekend with random guys getting smashed??? and only working 20 hrs a week while somebody else watches my kids???
I will admit I may sound harsh, I may sound terrible and i could be exaggerating. It just seems so unfair. I've had it lucky..but i dont understand why mistakes, lack of responsiblility, and illegal activity can get your more assistance than those who struggle with there first change and struggle to avoid the need of a second chance..
i'd like some feedback on this one, positive or negative.
on a positive note. pete and I are very very very good. Never been better. I hope things work out.
time to study for finals. I wasnt expecting this to be so long.
Things are really good aside from complete stress in every department.
I guess i'm better at handling it. two years ago I would have had a mental breakdown by now. Both my dr and hairdresser said i'm losing my hair because of stress..... I think that is sort of incredible. Think about it.. thats usually a reference/joke...not for real.
I got my hair cut tonight. It's very normal looking and I don't really like that.
I have about 75 cents in my account when all my checks clear for bills this month. I put $700 towards my credit card....thats a lot of money...I'm not even going to tell you how much I still have on there. I think I'm going to open a new Credit card and get rid of the one I have now. Its a circuit city credit card that I used to buy my lap top...there is no reason for a 20 year old girl to have a circuit city credit card...right? right.
so the other day i said to my dad i'm broke. and he responds, "yeah? me too I'm paying your college bills!"
I FLIPPED OUT. he is paying one bill thats about $100 a month.MONTH. AND he adds it to my tab that i owe him...so who is really paying? me. because in the end i'll be paying him back every dime. Yes, I understand $100 a month is an expense ...But Let me remind you...he gives my deadbeat low life mother $100 A WEEK for doing nothing but wasting breath, energy, etc. So lets weigh this out shall we?
$100 a month towards college tuition that will be reimbursed 100% (to his only child who hasnt dropped out yet because of $$$)
compared to...
$100 a week to buy cigarettes ( a habit my dad despises), and other shit for nothing
and I'M the one being put on a guilt trip........yeah, fuck that.
on another note...
an outlook on my next few weeks and months, shall we?
Tomorrow: work/finals/work
Thursday: work/finals/finals
Friday:work
Saturday:work
(last weekend of illegal drinking anyone???)
rest of my life: work
next week is my break from class before winter tri ends. I'm going to try to work every second of it because I wont be able to work as much this winter tri.
the next weekend i'm 21 woot woot (nov 26). Finally no restrictions on my life..sort of. I just want to feel like an adult and stop getting made fun of by my 30 year old boyfriend.
then Winter Trimester starts:
Public Assembly Management
E-Commerce
Senior Seminar
Career capstone
Contemporary Issues in the Service Industry
then 3 weeks before the trimester ends I'll be waived out of all 5 classes and finals to move to nyc.
I'll be working for spiketv under the MTV networks Umbrella. I'll be in the building with comedy central, newsweek, spike etc, right next door to the mtv studios.
problem?? yeah , it's unpaid and I have to find a place to live in manhatten or close by.
I'm going to have to take out loans...to live,eat, breathe. that sucks.
after this loan and college tuition loans i'll be in debt about 75,000 when I graduate. Nevermind my car/credit cards.
then i'm in NYC till May or June then I have star Island. then i'm in the real world, looking for a place to live and a job that will get me out of outrageous amounts of debt. sweet.
So i'm liberal. A democrat (but registered independent) left wing..... but I have to vent about something and I might sound slightly republican. It worries me..but...it's how i feel....
Did you know some prisoners get free education??
Moms that spend their welfare and child support on drugs/concerts/alcohol get their bills paid with our taxes?
Did you know they have better chances of getting grants and scholarships than a dean's list white girl thats never been in trouble and has done nothing but volunteer and work hard?
I'm all for helping people get out of the hole, and getting their lives on track. ABSOLUTELY everyone deserves a SECOND CHANCE..
but what about those who work their lives away, miss out on highschool and college experiences, put themselves in outrageous debt to be "successful"...what happens to us??? If i ran somebody over with my car i'd get free education? If i chose not to use condoms or be safe and got knocked up i'd have somebody pay my rent, electric bill, child care while i spend every weekend with random guys getting smashed??? and only working 20 hrs a week while somebody else watches my kids???
I will admit I may sound harsh, I may sound terrible and i could be exaggerating. It just seems so unfair. I've had it lucky..but i dont understand why mistakes, lack of responsiblility, and illegal activity can get your more assistance than those who struggle with there first change and struggle to avoid the need of a second chance..
i'd like some feedback on this one, positive or negative.
on a positive note. pete and I are very very very good. Never been better. I hope things work out.
time to study for finals. I wasnt expecting this to be so long.