Key West Stories Unvieled Massively
Well as most of you know, I just got back from my seven day vacation from the beautiful Key West area. No I am not gay, even though it is a popular gay hangout, but I did watch two lesbians make out on the beach, which reminds me that whoever is homophobic has no dick.
Well my first story is when we actually drove from our house to Key West. When we got there we pretty much bar hopped and gift shop hopped. The only thing I bought was a license to chill, two gold balls and two palm tree tees, (the gold ball says "it was my own damn fault"), and a butane lighter in the shape of a stack of quarters... adn the flame is green like money. My brother also bought me a cane int he shape of a dragon, because im a pimp. Most of the really cool stuff happened in mallory sqaure though. Just like any other square, it was a huge paved area where performers performed for a small bit of money.
The first act I saw was a cock fight. It wasnt illegal because nobody bet on them, it turns out wild cocks roam key west and they fight over wild chickens.
The next act I saw was a very talented old man who looked like Willie Nelson, when I got there he was juggling a pin that was on fire. Then he really worked the crown up for his tight rope act. He was funny ebcause he said he was going to do a flip, so he flipped off the crows.. I mean the salute. Then he juggled.
The next act was my favorite. It was an old man with his old dog. And his dog was goig to do a tightrope walk. He really worked up the crowd. He got two little kids to hold a hula hoop, then he asked for a old man that was fearless, smokes, drinks, and can fight. And he told the man to jump through the hula hoop and said "I just wanted to see if I could get a big fearless man to jump through the hoop." Then he made the man put a 5 dollar bill in his mouth and staythere for a while. Next he wanted to prove the crown he wouldnt help his dog at all, so he got 2 beautiful girls to tie him up ina chair. He enjoyed it. Next the dog walked the rope, jumped through the hula hoop, too the 5 dollar bill out of the man's mouth, and put the money in the bucket. And for the next five minutes the dog would take donation from the crowd and put it in the bucket. It was the neatest trick I have ever seen.
My next story is my favorite story, because if I was lucky to survive at all. Of course with the Solstice rain, we couldnt go fishing for like 3 days for the weather, so one day we finally said "its not too bad, lets go." So we went fishing. We went about 20 miles off shore and it was crazy. For like a half hour, nothing. Then a whole school of fish attacks, everyone lines buzzing, fish jumping, thema ttacking eachother for bait. It was crazy. One Barracuda jumped out of the water straight at me and landed 2 inched away from me in the water! It was literally insane! Then the waves started getting bigger, and bigger. If you looked straight down, it wasnt so bad, but when you looked at the horizon, and saw a wave at a higher altitude than you, you get a little uneasy about it. Finally it started to sprinkle so we decided to kick the motor into gear and start heading ashore. Sure enough not ten minutes go by and the storm literally engulfs us. We were goign 35 mph and 100 ft to the right, you can see the wind blowing and the rain pouring and the waves thrashing about, same thing 50 ft tot he left, but straight ahead was calm water and a warm sun as a beacon for hope. Unfortunately it didnt last very long. It never the less engulfed us and the only thing you can see was the next wave about to hit the front of the boat. We hit wave after wave, gallons pouring in.
Then to make it worse, the lightning and the thunder came. The natural law of lightning is it always strikes the highest point, and considering the ocean is flat, we were pretty close too being the highest point, so danger was amist. The first lightning strike was about 3 miles away, you can see them come down like spears of light thrown by the gods, clashing with the forces of sound to reate a loud boom that made you jump to your seat. We saw a channel marker and we followed the channel to find a place to hide. Sure enough, since we werent the highest point, the next lightning bolt hit the channel marker right next to us. It all happened in slow motion. I had my hand up to cover my eyes from the wind and the hard rain, I could hardly see at all because of the hard rain blowing in my face, but I watched the bolt strike the marker. It was all simultaneously I heard a loud boom like the earth cracked wide open. All around us was the echo, I swear I couldve followed the echo all around us. The electricity caused the engine to cease, and it was paddling to safety. The current was overbearing, but soon enough all our stressing and cussing and paddling withe verything we got pushed us safely into the mouth of the river. We went upstream about 100 ft before dropping anchor. Hours went by before the storm died down, but it was the hours needed to repair the motor. 30 minutes later we amde it to our pad and the most chilling experience ever happened. Walking into a cold airconditioned room wearing 2 lbs of soaking wet clothes. The race was on to change into dry clothes and drying off. I had the chills for 3 hrs straight. But the adventure was worth it.
Well that was the stories involved in my vacation.
Well my first story is when we actually drove from our house to Key West. When we got there we pretty much bar hopped and gift shop hopped. The only thing I bought was a license to chill, two gold balls and two palm tree tees, (the gold ball says "it was my own damn fault"), and a butane lighter in the shape of a stack of quarters... adn the flame is green like money. My brother also bought me a cane int he shape of a dragon, because im a pimp. Most of the really cool stuff happened in mallory sqaure though. Just like any other square, it was a huge paved area where performers performed for a small bit of money.
The first act I saw was a cock fight. It wasnt illegal because nobody bet on them, it turns out wild cocks roam key west and they fight over wild chickens.
The next act I saw was a very talented old man who looked like Willie Nelson, when I got there he was juggling a pin that was on fire. Then he really worked the crown up for his tight rope act. He was funny ebcause he said he was going to do a flip, so he flipped off the crows.. I mean the salute. Then he juggled.
The next act was my favorite. It was an old man with his old dog. And his dog was goig to do a tightrope walk. He really worked up the crowd. He got two little kids to hold a hula hoop, then he asked for a old man that was fearless, smokes, drinks, and can fight. And he told the man to jump through the hula hoop and said "I just wanted to see if I could get a big fearless man to jump through the hoop." Then he made the man put a 5 dollar bill in his mouth and staythere for a while. Next he wanted to prove the crown he wouldnt help his dog at all, so he got 2 beautiful girls to tie him up ina chair. He enjoyed it. Next the dog walked the rope, jumped through the hula hoop, too the 5 dollar bill out of the man's mouth, and put the money in the bucket. And for the next five minutes the dog would take donation from the crowd and put it in the bucket. It was the neatest trick I have ever seen.
My next story is my favorite story, because if I was lucky to survive at all. Of course with the Solstice rain, we couldnt go fishing for like 3 days for the weather, so one day we finally said "its not too bad, lets go." So we went fishing. We went about 20 miles off shore and it was crazy. For like a half hour, nothing. Then a whole school of fish attacks, everyone lines buzzing, fish jumping, thema ttacking eachother for bait. It was crazy. One Barracuda jumped out of the water straight at me and landed 2 inched away from me in the water! It was literally insane! Then the waves started getting bigger, and bigger. If you looked straight down, it wasnt so bad, but when you looked at the horizon, and saw a wave at a higher altitude than you, you get a little uneasy about it. Finally it started to sprinkle so we decided to kick the motor into gear and start heading ashore. Sure enough not ten minutes go by and the storm literally engulfs us. We were goign 35 mph and 100 ft to the right, you can see the wind blowing and the rain pouring and the waves thrashing about, same thing 50 ft tot he left, but straight ahead was calm water and a warm sun as a beacon for hope. Unfortunately it didnt last very long. It never the less engulfed us and the only thing you can see was the next wave about to hit the front of the boat. We hit wave after wave, gallons pouring in.
Then to make it worse, the lightning and the thunder came. The natural law of lightning is it always strikes the highest point, and considering the ocean is flat, we were pretty close too being the highest point, so danger was amist. The first lightning strike was about 3 miles away, you can see them come down like spears of light thrown by the gods, clashing with the forces of sound to reate a loud boom that made you jump to your seat. We saw a channel marker and we followed the channel to find a place to hide. Sure enough, since we werent the highest point, the next lightning bolt hit the channel marker right next to us. It all happened in slow motion. I had my hand up to cover my eyes from the wind and the hard rain, I could hardly see at all because of the hard rain blowing in my face, but I watched the bolt strike the marker. It was all simultaneously I heard a loud boom like the earth cracked wide open. All around us was the echo, I swear I couldve followed the echo all around us. The electricity caused the engine to cease, and it was paddling to safety. The current was overbearing, but soon enough all our stressing and cussing and paddling withe verything we got pushed us safely into the mouth of the river. We went upstream about 100 ft before dropping anchor. Hours went by before the storm died down, but it was the hours needed to repair the motor. 30 minutes later we amde it to our pad and the most chilling experience ever happened. Walking into a cold airconditioned room wearing 2 lbs of soaking wet clothes. The race was on to change into dry clothes and drying off. I had the chills for 3 hrs straight. But the adventure was worth it.
Well that was the stories involved in my vacation.