week one
tonight it's been one week without contact with dave. god it sucks. god i want him back. i don't even know how long this feeling will go on. i suppose i can just burry it in work and school and the mess that is my life. ew. look at me, i'm so emo.
but really. i mean, there have been days where i've gone almost hours without thinking about him. i suppose that says something. but, like at work, i'll be doing the mechanical stuff that doesn't require thought, and he comes into my head. and all i can think about is him and i.
i can feel myself trying to replace him. not replace him, but find someone else to want. not want him. make it easier or something. i don't know. i can tell it's happening though, which is a good thing. i almost still feel obligated to not see anyone until he's seen 4 people. hah. not like i would know. he doesn't let me read his journal. that really sucks. i mean... i'm the person that he's hiding everything from. his whole friends only thing is specifically for me. that just sucks. i suppose i see his reasoning. that doesnt' make it any easier.
tomorrow is valentines day. i wish i could have spent it with him. a month after that is my birthday. god i want him to be there.
but really. i mean, there have been days where i've gone almost hours without thinking about him. i suppose that says something. but, like at work, i'll be doing the mechanical stuff that doesn't require thought, and he comes into my head. and all i can think about is him and i.
i can feel myself trying to replace him. not replace him, but find someone else to want. not want him. make it easier or something. i don't know. i can tell it's happening though, which is a good thing. i almost still feel obligated to not see anyone until he's seen 4 people. hah. not like i would know. he doesn't let me read his journal. that really sucks. i mean... i'm the person that he's hiding everything from. his whole friends only thing is specifically for me. that just sucks. i suppose i see his reasoning. that doesnt' make it any easier.
tomorrow is valentines day. i wish i could have spent it with him. a month after that is my birthday. god i want him to be there.