Funkytown
I am in Quite a funk today, and not the good kind with george clinton and that dude who wears a wedding dress. The kind where I hate everything and can do nothing to escape the alternating feelings of Crushing despaire and oveerwhelming hate.
I have even tried some of my most tried and true crutches. I smoked a ciggarette, I ate some chocolate, I bought myself a treat (new makeup). NOPE. Nothing doning. I think I need some old fasioned socializing to get out of this funk. I am a REAL extrovert and I thrive on socializing. I don't really have time to do it today, I will have to wait until friday.
Depression sucks. I hurt so much and there is no real way to escape from it. THANK GOD I am on meds. I think I would be a quivering ball of tears and screams today if I was not on Prozac. I want to run away, but I have no where to run to. I feel like the girl in the "she's Got Baggage" Song ("The weigt of the world is on her shoulders, I wonder how she carries it around").
So Not that today would be tolerable if nothing went wrong, but I blew out the front tire of my bike today. I blame my own negative attitude for that. I was so Pissed about having to ride my bike to the metro, because I have no car, and there is no way I will be getting one anytime soon. I Know better than to wish for things I dont really want , but I was unable to control my negativity today. It resulted in a manifestation of my resentment. A broken Bicycle. >=l
don't feel strong enough to force myself into a positive attitude, However I am going to try to put my negativity aside. That will at least leave me on neutral ground. I think thats the best I can hope for right now. =l
On the bright side, The last time I Felt this bad, I was so happy to be home when I finished work, that it cheered me right out of the funk. I am going to focus on that and be ready to have a fun night at home with my honey (I think we have the Love Guru to watch on our new DVD player). That should do the trick. =l I mean =)
I have even tried some of my most tried and true crutches. I smoked a ciggarette, I ate some chocolate, I bought myself a treat (new makeup). NOPE. Nothing doning. I think I need some old fasioned socializing to get out of this funk. I am a REAL extrovert and I thrive on socializing. I don't really have time to do it today, I will have to wait until friday.
Depression sucks. I hurt so much and there is no real way to escape from it. THANK GOD I am on meds. I think I would be a quivering ball of tears and screams today if I was not on Prozac. I want to run away, but I have no where to run to. I feel like the girl in the "she's Got Baggage" Song ("The weigt of the world is on her shoulders, I wonder how she carries it around").
So Not that today would be tolerable if nothing went wrong, but I blew out the front tire of my bike today. I blame my own negative attitude for that. I was so Pissed about having to ride my bike to the metro, because I have no car, and there is no way I will be getting one anytime soon. I Know better than to wish for things I dont really want , but I was unable to control my negativity today. It resulted in a manifestation of my resentment. A broken Bicycle. >=l
don't feel strong enough to force myself into a positive attitude, However I am going to try to put my negativity aside. That will at least leave me on neutral ground. I think thats the best I can hope for right now. =l
On the bright side, The last time I Felt this bad, I was so happy to be home when I finished work, that it cheered me right out of the funk. I am going to focus on that and be ready to have a fun night at home with my honey (I think we have the Love Guru to watch on our new DVD player). That should do the trick. =l I mean =)