Half a World Away
Does anyone wonder still of why I rather spend my days reading, writing, dreaming and talking to people a half a world away (or, at least a good distance away)? You'd think by now, somebody would have a clue. But many don't. Many still wonder.
I have to wonder myself if it's better to think they don't know or that they do know, but don't care. If they did know, and did care, wouldn't they try to change this whole thing?
** I had gotten this far, and then stopped. Coincidentally, what I'm about to write is related to this**
I've got a friend. A friend who has never seen my face, who doesn't know my name, or my age (well, she might...), or exactly where I live. And I know nothing about her (except maybe her first name, as its on her MSN).
Yet she knows about my friends, and how I can't trust them. How my dad is towards me. She knows I like to cook and that I like bagels and cream cheese, that I stay up late, and my school is starting Tuesday. She knows I write, and can't draw worth crap, and that I'm thinking of seeing a therapist.
Yet I know about how she, too, finds girls catty, that her dad ran off, and her mom has had a couple of marriages, and that the guy she has now is a keeper. I know she's a vegetarian, and she likes spinach pies and drawing. I know she suffers from depression or something of the like.
It's odd, talking to her. She's different, for sure. And sometimes it's confusing. But She cares. And I care. When my status is questionable- "Out. Anywhere but here" she asks why, worried that my dad might have started something. And when she says she's depressed, I ask why, hoping I can help.
We'll probably never meet each other, and I don't want to meet her (the whole shyness thing). But I'm content to have someone else to talk to, who cares, and who can't spread rumors around my school.
That's why I talk to people half a world away. That's why I can't trust my friends around here.
*Beatrix
I have to wonder myself if it's better to think they don't know or that they do know, but don't care. If they did know, and did care, wouldn't they try to change this whole thing?
** I had gotten this far, and then stopped. Coincidentally, what I'm about to write is related to this**
I've got a friend. A friend who has never seen my face, who doesn't know my name, or my age (well, she might...), or exactly where I live. And I know nothing about her (except maybe her first name, as its on her MSN).
Yet she knows about my friends, and how I can't trust them. How my dad is towards me. She knows I like to cook and that I like bagels and cream cheese, that I stay up late, and my school is starting Tuesday. She knows I write, and can't draw worth crap, and that I'm thinking of seeing a therapist.
Yet I know about how she, too, finds girls catty, that her dad ran off, and her mom has had a couple of marriages, and that the guy she has now is a keeper. I know she's a vegetarian, and she likes spinach pies and drawing. I know she suffers from depression or something of the like.
It's odd, talking to her. She's different, for sure. And sometimes it's confusing. But She cares. And I care. When my status is questionable- "Out. Anywhere but here" she asks why, worried that my dad might have started something. And when she says she's depressed, I ask why, hoping I can help.
We'll probably never meet each other, and I don't want to meet her (the whole shyness thing). But I'm content to have someone else to talk to, who cares, and who can't spread rumors around my school.
That's why I talk to people half a world away. That's why I can't trust my friends around here.
*Beatrix