Happy End of 2006 everybody!
So, it's the end of 2006. I haven't really been on here much in the last few weeks, have I? And, sitting here, I can kind of understand why. I haven't done anything lately that makes a good story. I've done several things that have made me very happy, and I've done a lot more things that were just to kill the long boring hours, but nothing epic, with which to fill up the last post of the year.
I guess that's how it goes, though, isn't it? I'm sitting here, listening to an Eagles CD I got last year, reading about strange mutant animals that existed this year, and trying to figure out a use for seven ounces of bright green yarn. Not exactly how I would have pictured myself ending this year, but not too bad either.
Let's see. At this point last year, I was a freshman, and I had come home from my first semester away on my 18th birthday. I had met a ton of wonderful new people, and was finally able to distance myself from all of the horribleness of my senior year, and get past a lot of the anger and hopelessness I had felt when I was stuck inside. I wasn't where I am now, but I had met some absolutely wonderful people, who helped me so much. On the downside, I brought home the worst grades I've ever had. I managed to do much better the next semester, and I started hanging out with a lot of you who read this now, but I'm sorry to say that I was really horrible at times, and really wasn't always who I think I should have been. But I think I've fixed that, at least, and I think that I had before I came home again for the summer.
The first half of this year was really mixed. I was surrounded by so many different people, some of whom I really, truly love, and always will, even if I don't always show it, some of whom I never want to lose, regardless of what happens, and some of whom I am glad to have known but don't mind letting go. I want to thank everybody for everything you've done in the last year, even the things that were stupid or hurtful, and especially the ones that were honest.
The second part of this year was really, really difficult. Some of that was my fault, for trying to steer things in ways they didn't want and weren't meant to go, and some of it was because of things I couldn't control, and shouldn't ever try. But things are better now, I think, and I'm pretty sure that I am where I need to be. I know I'm almost where I want to be, and as close as I think I can come for now taking everything into account.
In the outside world, a lot of people were born, a lot of people died, and a lot of people fought, and it seems everyday that there is less and less reason for any of it. A lot of things that mattered really shouldn't, and a lot of things that didn't seem to matter really probably should. I don't think any of us really know what we're doing, or what we believe, and I think we need to do a lot of thinking. All of us, little kids, grandparents, college kids, politicians, businessmen, teachers, the average guy walking down the street. Everybody, in this country and in all of the others, needs to start looking ahead. I don't think anybody is looking farther ahead than the next two or three years, myself included, and that's a problem.
This is life, on Earth, in 2007. There are just too many of us to be flying by the seat of our collective pants. We have to have a plan. We have to want to change things, want to do something with our lives, want to be somewhere in ten years, or fifteen or fifty. I know it's hard, and I know there's just so much to try to do at once, and that none of us can do it by ourselves. It's okay. It's okay to ask for help, or to admit that you're wrong, or to ask someone else to get you out of a hopeless situation, even if it means that we're going to lose a lot of face. It's okay. We don't have to be right all the time. We don't have to be good all the time. It'll be okay. We don't have the luxury of prancing around like arrogant kids anymore.
We have to realize that we are all 'us'. We're too big to have the luxury of having a 'them' anymore. All of us are human, and it doesn't matter anymore where we're from, or what deity we believe in, or who we love. We need to learn to just get over all of these stupid, petty little things that bother us about each other, and learn to see all of the things that are the same. Because we can always come up with things that are different to make important, and that's just too easy. We need to grow up and get over it.
I'm just as guilty of all of this as anyone else. And I know that, and I admit it, and I am sorry. I shall try to do better in the future, but I know I won't always. I like to think that in the last year, I've become better than I was before, and I'd like to think that I will always be able to think of myself this way. If, in the end, I look back at my life, and if the farther back in my memories I go, the more of an idiot I think I was, I'll be happy in knowing that I've always made myself better.
So, 2006, I think was a much better year than 2005, and hopefully it won't be as good as 2007, which is all I can really hope for, isn't it?
Thanks for a good year, everybody, and Happy 2007!
I guess that's how it goes, though, isn't it? I'm sitting here, listening to an Eagles CD I got last year, reading about strange mutant animals that existed this year, and trying to figure out a use for seven ounces of bright green yarn. Not exactly how I would have pictured myself ending this year, but not too bad either.
Let's see. At this point last year, I was a freshman, and I had come home from my first semester away on my 18th birthday. I had met a ton of wonderful new people, and was finally able to distance myself from all of the horribleness of my senior year, and get past a lot of the anger and hopelessness I had felt when I was stuck inside. I wasn't where I am now, but I had met some absolutely wonderful people, who helped me so much. On the downside, I brought home the worst grades I've ever had. I managed to do much better the next semester, and I started hanging out with a lot of you who read this now, but I'm sorry to say that I was really horrible at times, and really wasn't always who I think I should have been. But I think I've fixed that, at least, and I think that I had before I came home again for the summer.
The first half of this year was really mixed. I was surrounded by so many different people, some of whom I really, truly love, and always will, even if I don't always show it, some of whom I never want to lose, regardless of what happens, and some of whom I am glad to have known but don't mind letting go. I want to thank everybody for everything you've done in the last year, even the things that were stupid or hurtful, and especially the ones that were honest.
The second part of this year was really, really difficult. Some of that was my fault, for trying to steer things in ways they didn't want and weren't meant to go, and some of it was because of things I couldn't control, and shouldn't ever try. But things are better now, I think, and I'm pretty sure that I am where I need to be. I know I'm almost where I want to be, and as close as I think I can come for now taking everything into account.
In the outside world, a lot of people were born, a lot of people died, and a lot of people fought, and it seems everyday that there is less and less reason for any of it. A lot of things that mattered really shouldn't, and a lot of things that didn't seem to matter really probably should. I don't think any of us really know what we're doing, or what we believe, and I think we need to do a lot of thinking. All of us, little kids, grandparents, college kids, politicians, businessmen, teachers, the average guy walking down the street. Everybody, in this country and in all of the others, needs to start looking ahead. I don't think anybody is looking farther ahead than the next two or three years, myself included, and that's a problem.
This is life, on Earth, in 2007. There are just too many of us to be flying by the seat of our collective pants. We have to have a plan. We have to want to change things, want to do something with our lives, want to be somewhere in ten years, or fifteen or fifty. I know it's hard, and I know there's just so much to try to do at once, and that none of us can do it by ourselves. It's okay. It's okay to ask for help, or to admit that you're wrong, or to ask someone else to get you out of a hopeless situation, even if it means that we're going to lose a lot of face. It's okay. We don't have to be right all the time. We don't have to be good all the time. It'll be okay. We don't have the luxury of prancing around like arrogant kids anymore.
We have to realize that we are all 'us'. We're too big to have the luxury of having a 'them' anymore. All of us are human, and it doesn't matter anymore where we're from, or what deity we believe in, or who we love. We need to learn to just get over all of these stupid, petty little things that bother us about each other, and learn to see all of the things that are the same. Because we can always come up with things that are different to make important, and that's just too easy. We need to grow up and get over it.
I'm just as guilty of all of this as anyone else. And I know that, and I admit it, and I am sorry. I shall try to do better in the future, but I know I won't always. I like to think that in the last year, I've become better than I was before, and I'd like to think that I will always be able to think of myself this way. If, in the end, I look back at my life, and if the farther back in my memories I go, the more of an idiot I think I was, I'll be happy in knowing that I've always made myself better.
So, 2006, I think was a much better year than 2005, and hopefully it won't be as good as 2007, which is all I can really hope for, isn't it?
Thanks for a good year, everybody, and Happy 2007!