I guess this is what they call killing yourself in small doses
so this is divided into 2 parts, its really just easier that way.
tonight was pretty fun. Jesses B-day and I had a good time. Hanging out was pretty cool. There were some downsides to the night, but things seemed to pick back up. and I hope everyone else had a good time, especially Jesse. But I also sort of noticed that when Alexandra Chris and Steve went to Tim Hortons I felt really lonely. I don't even know why. I was talking to Jesse and stuff, but yah.. I just did. it was sort of weird? but yah, so that made me kind of not happy haha. but yah, it was just.. random I guess.
but those things happen.
andnandnd i'm also really fucking dumb. i keep going back and looking at the page, and i know that its going to make me angry/sad or upset-whatever, but i do it anyway. and i have no idea why. its like a fucking addiction only I miss out on the fun high and just go straight to the wanting to stab everyone in the face. and honestly i'm at the point where if one of them came too close, I think i would.
FUCCCCK YOUUUU!
and no one probably has any idea what I'm talking about. but its probably better that way.
I'm really annoying, but i'm so sick of people lying to me and making me feel like this. ugh but I say this a lot. and i'm probably the problem. but its so much easier to blame everyone else.
right?
tonight was pretty fun. Jesses B-day and I had a good time. Hanging out was pretty cool. There were some downsides to the night, but things seemed to pick back up. and I hope everyone else had a good time, especially Jesse. But I also sort of noticed that when Alexandra Chris and Steve went to Tim Hortons I felt really lonely. I don't even know why. I was talking to Jesse and stuff, but yah.. I just did. it was sort of weird? but yah, so that made me kind of not happy haha. but yah, it was just.. random I guess.
but those things happen.
andnandnd i'm also really fucking dumb. i keep going back and looking at the page, and i know that its going to make me angry/sad or upset-whatever, but i do it anyway. and i have no idea why. its like a fucking addiction only I miss out on the fun high and just go straight to the wanting to stab everyone in the face. and honestly i'm at the point where if one of them came too close, I think i would.
FUCCCCK YOUUUU!
and no one probably has any idea what I'm talking about. but its probably better that way.
I'm really annoying, but i'm so sick of people lying to me and making me feel like this. ugh but I say this a lot. and i'm probably the problem. but its so much easier to blame everyone else.
right?