(no subject)
so i thought things were going really well. and then something happens, and suddenly things aren't that great anymore.
and i don't even know whats wrong with me. i'm just fucking selfish or something. something happens and suddenly nothing else could possibly go right. right?
it happens way too much.
and its just weird, i think.
i don't know.
just too much of a pattern for me to be content. i'm always waiting for something to go worng.
i'm not even sure what i mean, or what i'm trying ot get at.
pretty much that i hate when things change.
i hate it so much.
and i hate the fact that i don't know what to say to anyone, and that i know i can't make any of them feel any better.
and i hate this useless feeling.
and i've had some of the best days recently. but i'm not even sure.
theres still this looming bad feeeling that comes up all the time. and i hate that a lot too. and that one word can completley change my mood for the worst. but i don't want to get into that either.
but i've also come to the conclusion that summer would probably help. yesturday was so warm and nice and sweet. and it helped a lot i think. and the prospect of having the next week off also makes me feel a lot better. i don't know though, maybe i just need to suck up my teen angst bullshit and just deal with myself, without trying to bring in other people or make them feel bad. its just too much to try to put on anyone else.
but i know its not that simple. nothings ever that smiple. and thats annoying too.
and also, i have no idea what this post is even about. and i appologize for that as well.
pretty much, i just hope that everyones ok, or getting ok. and feeling better.
buttttttttttt i do know that i'm going to orilla in 3 hours and 15 minutes. and that makes me happy.
and i hope today is good for everyone else. and tomorrow i will be home, cuz i will probably get into Whitby tonight. but yah. so thats neat.
ohhh and also! if Alexandra, you see this. cangradulations on kitties! and i hope momma kitty is ok too. and that i will come see kitties sometime soon, and hopefully i won't get allergic! but yah, so i hope things are good with them. andnad yup.
and i don't even know whats wrong with me. i'm just fucking selfish or something. something happens and suddenly nothing else could possibly go right. right?
it happens way too much.
and its just weird, i think.
i don't know.
just too much of a pattern for me to be content. i'm always waiting for something to go worng.
i'm not even sure what i mean, or what i'm trying ot get at.
pretty much that i hate when things change.
i hate it so much.
and i hate the fact that i don't know what to say to anyone, and that i know i can't make any of them feel any better.
and i hate this useless feeling.
and i've had some of the best days recently. but i'm not even sure.
theres still this looming bad feeeling that comes up all the time. and i hate that a lot too. and that one word can completley change my mood for the worst. but i don't want to get into that either.
but i've also come to the conclusion that summer would probably help. yesturday was so warm and nice and sweet. and it helped a lot i think. and the prospect of having the next week off also makes me feel a lot better. i don't know though, maybe i just need to suck up my teen angst bullshit and just deal with myself, without trying to bring in other people or make them feel bad. its just too much to try to put on anyone else.
but i know its not that simple. nothings ever that smiple. and thats annoying too.
and also, i have no idea what this post is even about. and i appologize for that as well.
pretty much, i just hope that everyones ok, or getting ok. and feeling better.
buttttttttttt i do know that i'm going to orilla in 3 hours and 15 minutes. and that makes me happy.
and i hope today is good for everyone else. and tomorrow i will be home, cuz i will probably get into Whitby tonight. but yah. so thats neat.
ohhh and also! if Alexandra, you see this. cangradulations on kitties! and i hope momma kitty is ok too. and that i will come see kitties sometime soon, and hopefully i won't get allergic! but yah, so i hope things are good with them. andnad yup.