All quotes are sic
So, R. Kelly has a new video out called "Same Girl" in which he and Usher are dating, well, the same girl.
They figure this out because "Ush" calls "Kels" to say that he's in love; he's met the girl of his dreams. And then he proceeds to tell him about this chick, but he does it in sort of a weird way. He doesn't say her name (which would be the first thing I would tell my friend), he just says: "She stand about 5’4”, coca cola red bone[1]." To which Kels replies, "Damn" and then Ush continues, "She drives a black Durango, license plate say 'Angel,' tattoo on her ankle." And I'm left thinking, wait, why the fuck would he tell his friend what her license plate says?
And then Kels starts saying, wait a second, this sounds familiar. Or actually he says it like this: "Wait a minute, hold on dawg, do she got a kid? Love Some Waffle House? Do she got a beauty mark on her left side of her mouth? Went to Georgia Tech? Works for TBS?" Ush answers yes to all.
And then it gets really creepy, because they both seem maybe too excited about it. Like, check out 3:20, when they toast each other while singing "we been messin' with the same girl." Maybe they look so happy just because they're singing, but it's a disturbing moment. And also check out 2:50 and 2:55:
where they exchange naughty pictures of the chick that they've saved on their phones. Is that what straight guys do? Like, seriously?
And then they decide they're going to trap her. So they both invite her to this restaurant and it turns out that OH! she's really just got an identical twin. Well that makes it all better then. They haven't been messing with the same girl at all. They look so relieved.
Except that they apparently have the exact same life as one another. R. Kelly clearly doesn't have any idea how identical twins work. Like, alright look the same, sure, but apparently he thinks they also live together (in a place on Prince St.), drive the same car (with the same license plate no less), went to the same school, have the same job, say the exact same slutty thing to get R&B stars ("can you take me home?"), they've both got a kid, and they both go by the name TT. I'm sorry, but if they really are two separate women, there's some kind of deep seeded psychological problems there. It's unnatural. Unless you're these guys.
Ah well. At least she was of age. Good going Kels.
[1] What the fuck does "coca cola red bone" mean? Is that some kind of code? Like, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?
Click to viewThey figure this out because "Ush" calls "Kels" to say that he's in love; he's met the girl of his dreams. And then he proceeds to tell him about this chick, but he does it in sort of a weird way. He doesn't say her name (which would be the first thing I would tell my friend), he just says: "She stand about 5’4”, coca cola red bone[1]." To which Kels replies, "Damn" and then Ush continues, "She drives a black Durango, license plate say 'Angel,' tattoo on her ankle." And I'm left thinking, wait, why the fuck would he tell his friend what her license plate says?
And then Kels starts saying, wait a second, this sounds familiar. Or actually he says it like this: "Wait a minute, hold on dawg, do she got a kid? Love Some Waffle House? Do she got a beauty mark on her left side of her mouth? Went to Georgia Tech? Works for TBS?" Ush answers yes to all.
And then it gets really creepy, because they both seem maybe too excited about it. Like, check out 3:20, when they toast each other while singing "we been messin' with the same girl." Maybe they look so happy just because they're singing, but it's a disturbing moment. And also check out 2:50 and 2:55:
where they exchange naughty pictures of the chick that they've saved on their phones. Is that what straight guys do? Like, seriously?
And then they decide they're going to trap her. So they both invite her to this restaurant and it turns out that OH! she's really just got an identical twin. Well that makes it all better then. They haven't been messing with the same girl at all. They look so relieved.
Except that they apparently have the exact same life as one another. R. Kelly clearly doesn't have any idea how identical twins work. Like, alright look the same, sure, but apparently he thinks they also live together (in a place on Prince St.), drive the same car (with the same license plate no less), went to the same school, have the same job, say the exact same slutty thing to get R&B stars ("can you take me home?"), they've both got a kid, and they both go by the name TT. I'm sorry, but if they really are two separate women, there's some kind of deep seeded psychological problems there. It's unnatural. Unless you're these guys.
Ah well. At least she was of age. Good going Kels.
[1] What the fuck does "coca cola red bone" mean? Is that some kind of code? Like, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?