And how.
I've been thinking about advertising recently. Here in New York, we've seen people who choose to let Bacardi paint a giant booze mural on their building's side (it was near the Duane Reade in Union Square; I think it might still be around), and it got me thinking, why don't businesses do this more often? It sounds a little bit dystopian, maybe, but I'm sure that the average Joe's house would be cheaper to advertise on than a billboard, and I know that if I owned a building, I'd be more than willing to let someone paint on it.
In fact, why stop there? Why only use buildings. Why not use people?
I could get a big ol' Coca-Cola label tattooed on my chest, and Coke could pay me, say, a thousand bucks to leave it there for the rest of my life. I'd be like a Nascar driver. The only difference is that it would be forever.
And businesses could really benefit from this for a few reasons. The obvious one is that no advertising is better than recommendation, and what better recommendation could there be than the chest of someone you're sleeping with? Think of the wonderful memories that would be associated with Coca-Cola if you saw it over and over again while someone was making passionate love to you. Or every time you check out that hottie in the gym.
And the people advertising it would be likely to start using the product more and more as well, because everytime they stepped out of the shower, Always Coca-Cola would be in their mirror. The now-walking-billboard would pay for his own ad space in only a few years.
Of course this would mean a drastic reimagining of the way advertising is done. Where previously Neilson ratings determined how much advertisers were willing to pay, now promiscuity would be the deciding factor. You would quite literally have to be a consumer whore. A very attractive slut (a sorority girl, say) would be prime real estate, whereas someone whose real beauty is on the inside would be more like your late night infomercials. Porn stars could suplement their income with huge endorsement deals for Trojan or KY Jelly. Or Twinkies (get it?). Imagine a large breasted woman having her ass rimmed while each of her cheeks say, "Eat Hostess Cupcakes." Think of the sales that would generate.
In fact, why stop there? Why only use buildings. Why not use people?
I could get a big ol' Coca-Cola label tattooed on my chest, and Coke could pay me, say, a thousand bucks to leave it there for the rest of my life. I'd be like a Nascar driver. The only difference is that it would be forever.
And businesses could really benefit from this for a few reasons. The obvious one is that no advertising is better than recommendation, and what better recommendation could there be than the chest of someone you're sleeping with? Think of the wonderful memories that would be associated with Coca-Cola if you saw it over and over again while someone was making passionate love to you. Or every time you check out that hottie in the gym.
And the people advertising it would be likely to start using the product more and more as well, because everytime they stepped out of the shower, Always Coca-Cola would be in their mirror. The now-walking-billboard would pay for his own ad space in only a few years.
Of course this would mean a drastic reimagining of the way advertising is done. Where previously Neilson ratings determined how much advertisers were willing to pay, now promiscuity would be the deciding factor. You would quite literally have to be a consumer whore. A very attractive slut (a sorority girl, say) would be prime real estate, whereas someone whose real beauty is on the inside would be more like your late night infomercials. Porn stars could suplement their income with huge endorsement deals for Trojan or KY Jelly. Or Twinkies (get it?). Imagine a large breasted woman having her ass rimmed while each of her cheeks say, "Eat Hostess Cupcakes." Think of the sales that would generate.