(no subject)
So, I haven't been posting that much recently for a couple of reasons. For one, the lady I was replacing while she popped out some infant finally popped out said infant, recovered, tossed the thing with her mother, and came back to her desk, which left me deskless and jobless until the temp agency can find another spot for me. This has left me with fun exciting things (video games) to do. Also, I recently picked up a whole slew of video games with which to waste my time: Tales of Symphonia, Resident Evil: Pure Evil (Super expanded versions of RE, and RE zero), and Psychonauts. And, something's been bugging me about Tales of Symphonia for a while now. In it you get to cook things which will heal your party of some of their battle wounds.
Now, don't get me wrong, with a video game, you take a few things for granted. You tend to make concessions for the sake of the game. You "suspend your disbelief" to put it in movie terms. Grand Theft Auto wouldn't be all that much fun if every time you got caught you spent twenty years in jail. Mortal Kombat would really suck if when you punched a guy in the face you broke his nose and blood continued to squirt out of his nasal cavities until he collapsed weeping on the ground (actually that would pretty fucking sweet). And I can even accept that a seafood stew will bring back the dead (who are, of course, incapable of chewing the, no doubt delectable, stew).
So it's not that, and it's not even the fact that potatoes au gratin don't even require you have potatoes in order to make. This is a magical world with angels and magic and angels casting magic, I can accept these things. My problem is this, sometimes, while you're cooking, you can fail at something. That's fine when you're making a steak, maybe you burn it, maybe you don't tenderize it enough, but sometimes you fail while you're making a sandwich.
What the hell kind of a person fails at making a sandwich? Slap two slices of bread down on top of something and eat. You only even need one slice if you're going to make it open faced. And then put anything edible, ANYTHING AT ALL, on the bread. Unless you're using rocks, or your hands have been removed and replaced with hooks, I don't see how it's possible to screw that up.
Basically, what I'm saying is this: if you've failed to make a sandwich, you've officially failed at life. Forget saving the world from a race of super-beings, you'd better just sit down and find yourself a nice rest home because you're helpless. I, quite frankly, don't see how you dress yourself and walk from one end of the room to the other without sitting down and quietly weeping.
Now, don't get me wrong, with a video game, you take a few things for granted. You tend to make concessions for the sake of the game. You "suspend your disbelief" to put it in movie terms. Grand Theft Auto wouldn't be all that much fun if every time you got caught you spent twenty years in jail. Mortal Kombat would really suck if when you punched a guy in the face you broke his nose and blood continued to squirt out of his nasal cavities until he collapsed weeping on the ground (actually that would pretty fucking sweet). And I can even accept that a seafood stew will bring back the dead (who are, of course, incapable of chewing the, no doubt delectable, stew).
So it's not that, and it's not even the fact that potatoes au gratin don't even require you have potatoes in order to make. This is a magical world with angels and magic and angels casting magic, I can accept these things. My problem is this, sometimes, while you're cooking, you can fail at something. That's fine when you're making a steak, maybe you burn it, maybe you don't tenderize it enough, but sometimes you fail while you're making a sandwich.
What the hell kind of a person fails at making a sandwich? Slap two slices of bread down on top of something and eat. You only even need one slice if you're going to make it open faced. And then put anything edible, ANYTHING AT ALL, on the bread. Unless you're using rocks, or your hands have been removed and replaced with hooks, I don't see how it's possible to screw that up.
Basically, what I'm saying is this: if you've failed to make a sandwich, you've officially failed at life. Forget saving the world from a race of super-beings, you'd better just sit down and find yourself a nice rest home because you're helpless. I, quite frankly, don't see how you dress yourself and walk from one end of the room to the other without sitting down and quietly weeping.