(no subject)
- It's like they shipped a big ol' crate of the worst shows in America over to England. After some dismal 15-16 season episodes of "The Simpsons" I'm treated to Tommy Lee's (since when does his name's attachment mean anything?) "Rock Star," in which 5 women sing like Melissa Ethridge before one finally sings a Melissa Ethridge song.
- Women cannot sing Nirvana. There, I said it. There's subtlety to performance and songs, and we should respect it. When you smoke fifteen cartons of cigarettes a day and sound like you spent the night screaming at posers in the crowd, THEN you can sing Nirvana's songs. If not, don't bother. Just because you're pissed off doesn't mean you add something to the music. Everyone's pissed off.
- The best singers cannot.
Motorcycle, truck. Motorcycle, ambulance. Ambulance. Police motorcycle.
The biggest news in England: Bush's approach to foreign policy is "to get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit." And the anchors are allowed to say 'shit' on television!
America DOES censor it's television too much. If any good is to come out of "The Simpsons" movie all the way in the year 2007, it's the fact that there's a good chance Homer Simpson will finally say 'fuck' without a censoring organ chord.
- It's not that I'm bored with England, it's that I miss privacy, and I'm sick of family. We are so fucking loud.
Sing it with me: "I'm so bored with U! S! A!"
- To return to college is to slowly remove my skin, inch-by-inch, with a hot iron, before dipping my pink underside into a vat of astringent, freezer-burned ice cream.
I didn't like last year's freshmen! What makes the college think I'm going to like NEXT year's freshmen!? Good idea! We have a dorm shortage! SO LETS GET MORE FUCKING KIDS IN HERE! Fuck! And, oh, they don't mind if we take away their lounge again, will they? Just fill it up with some fucking twits again, after forcing them out after a semester.
We should have tea as a meal in America. Carb-tastic. Carblicious.
- As it is, I cannot live in England. Too expensive. Too small. No wonder the best music came from here. I'd be pissed off too if I had to take shit from America.
. . . Wait.
- I'm ready to come home, actually.
I shouldn't say anything. I've been blessed with this family.
- I love all of you.
[Ned gains the ability to tell people's death seconds before they happen. Thinking he negated Homer's prophesied death, he must now stop Homer from blowing up the town through the power plant's horribly unnecessary 'Core Meltdown' button.]
Flanders: [Into a microphone] "No Homer! Don't do it! You'll kill everybody!"
Intercom: "Homer! *White noise* Do it! *White noise* Kill everybody!"
Homer: "Boy, it sure is taking me a long time to push this button."
- Women cannot sing Nirvana. There, I said it. There's subtlety to performance and songs, and we should respect it. When you smoke fifteen cartons of cigarettes a day and sound like you spent the night screaming at posers in the crowd, THEN you can sing Nirvana's songs. If not, don't bother. Just because you're pissed off doesn't mean you add something to the music. Everyone's pissed off.
- The best singers cannot.
Motorcycle, truck. Motorcycle, ambulance. Ambulance. Police motorcycle.
The biggest news in England: Bush's approach to foreign policy is "to get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit." And the anchors are allowed to say 'shit' on television!
America DOES censor it's television too much. If any good is to come out of "The Simpsons" movie all the way in the year 2007, it's the fact that there's a good chance Homer Simpson will finally say 'fuck' without a censoring organ chord.
- It's not that I'm bored with England, it's that I miss privacy, and I'm sick of family. We are so fucking loud.
Sing it with me: "I'm so bored with U! S! A!"
- To return to college is to slowly remove my skin, inch-by-inch, with a hot iron, before dipping my pink underside into a vat of astringent, freezer-burned ice cream.
I didn't like last year's freshmen! What makes the college think I'm going to like NEXT year's freshmen!? Good idea! We have a dorm shortage! SO LETS GET MORE FUCKING KIDS IN HERE! Fuck! And, oh, they don't mind if we take away their lounge again, will they? Just fill it up with some fucking twits again, after forcing them out after a semester.
We should have tea as a meal in America. Carb-tastic. Carblicious.
- As it is, I cannot live in England. Too expensive. Too small. No wonder the best music came from here. I'd be pissed off too if I had to take shit from America.
. . . Wait.
- I'm ready to come home, actually.
I shouldn't say anything. I've been blessed with this family.
- I love all of you.
[Ned gains the ability to tell people's death seconds before they happen. Thinking he negated Homer's prophesied death, he must now stop Homer from blowing up the town through the power plant's horribly unnecessary 'Core Meltdown' button.]
Flanders: [Into a microphone] "No Homer! Don't do it! You'll kill everybody!"
Intercom: "Homer! *White noise* Do it! *White noise* Kill everybody!"
Homer: "Boy, it sure is taking me a long time to push this button."