What the hell is going on?!?!
What the hell IS going on? Seriously! Usually I feel as if I bring joy and laughter into people's lives, but right now I am so completely miserable. Is it just that I miss my family? It tends to happen whenever I come back from home, I get stuck in a rut.
So bare with me my friends, for today I am emo. Don't post any comments saying "it'll be okay," cuz I know it will, I'm just having a slight emo moment.
There are things I hate.
There are things I want.
I hate singing. Oh yes, I love it, but I can hardly swallow my throat hurts so bad. And singing Carmina Burana and Good fucking Vibrations doesn't help matters. It was nice having a week of vocal rest. I think I'm just not going to sing in chorale for the rest of this week.
Hmm... that's all I really hate right now.
My wants. Of course, in real life it's all a big complicated mess, but I am going to cling to the romantic ideal that I wish I could have.
I want to wake up in the morning full of excitement and anticipation about seeing a special someone that day.
I want to hold someone while falling asleep and waking up with them in my arms the next morning.
I want to share a bottle of cheap wine and slow dance to Sinatra.
I want to go to a jazz club or restaurant and sit there for hours listening, talking and dancing.
I want to go for midnight strolls down beaches. (Actually did that once!)
I'm a hopeless romantic and will always be.
The problem about being a hopeless romantic, is that it is your own romantic ideal, not another's. And clinging to one's personal ideals is problematic because it's selfish. Selfishness is the brother to jealousy.
Jealousy leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.
"Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is." -Yoda
Romantic ideal and attachment? Or to free myself from both?
"Could it be? Yes it could.
Somethings comin' somethin' good
If I can wait
Something's coming I don't know what it is
But it is gonna be great..."
So bare with me my friends, for today I am emo. Don't post any comments saying "it'll be okay," cuz I know it will, I'm just having a slight emo moment.
There are things I hate.
There are things I want.
I hate singing. Oh yes, I love it, but I can hardly swallow my throat hurts so bad. And singing Carmina Burana and Good fucking Vibrations doesn't help matters. It was nice having a week of vocal rest. I think I'm just not going to sing in chorale for the rest of this week.
Hmm... that's all I really hate right now.
My wants. Of course, in real life it's all a big complicated mess, but I am going to cling to the romantic ideal that I wish I could have.
I want to wake up in the morning full of excitement and anticipation about seeing a special someone that day.
I want to hold someone while falling asleep and waking up with them in my arms the next morning.
I want to share a bottle of cheap wine and slow dance to Sinatra.
I want to go to a jazz club or restaurant and sit there for hours listening, talking and dancing.
I want to go for midnight strolls down beaches. (Actually did that once!)
I'm a hopeless romantic and will always be.
The problem about being a hopeless romantic, is that it is your own romantic ideal, not another's. And clinging to one's personal ideals is problematic because it's selfish. Selfishness is the brother to jealousy.
Jealousy leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.
"Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is." -Yoda
Romantic ideal and attachment? Or to free myself from both?
"Could it be? Yes it could.
Somethings comin' somethin' good
If I can wait
Something's coming I don't know what it is
But it is gonna be great..."