all the wrong places
I need to get out of New Jersey, this state is a little too toxic for me, I'm convinced it twists my head everytime I'm here. People have been shoving the truth in my face lately. I don't know what they want anymore. Do you want me to split open so you all can see what I'm made of? What is going on inside my head? Let me know if you can see anything. I'm a bit lost right now. I hate this indecisiveness. Right now my future is spread before my like an open field with no hint as to what will happen next. I don't like this not having a plan, nothing is definite anymore and that is somewhat frightening. Who knows where I will be this time next year, much less this time next month. I've now been warned to expect my things to be packed for me at any point. It's just funny now, originally I was told to get a job or leave so I got a job. Next they are mad I don't call when I'm not coming home. Last night I called. Apparently nothing is good enough. I would appreciate if my parent's wouldn't make it quite so clear that I'm not really wanted here anymore. Some things are better shrouded in gray. I wish I could live in the truth I wish there could be. I know what is going to happen, I really do. I know what I am setting myself up for. I am so sick of people telling me I'm not going to do what I say I am. Are you trying to make me prove you wrong or have people lost faith in me? I've never claimed to be perfect, I've never claimed to be much. I need the mountains to hold me up.