The sledgehammer solution
Designers amaze me. Any given item, someone had to design it. And it's never just about making it pretty. It also has to be functional, (usually) compact, and cost-efficient. Moreover, it has be unique, different, or somehow an improvement on its predecessor. Like I said, designers amaze me.
While motherboard designers usually don't encounter quite the same aesthetic expectations that, say, a fashion designer may run in to, they are restricted to chucking in as many features into the ATX form factor. One would assume that corporate has some expectations on cost, so said designer has to remain cognizant of the benefit/cost ratio.
Still, there is just no excuse for the fucking piece of crap CMOS clear function that some moron put onto my motherboard. See, for years there’s been this great little function on every motherboard: if you fuck up your BIOS, you can reset it by moving this little jumper on your motherboard.
Exhibit A:
| | | (<---- pins)
|_| (<---- jumper)
So the jumper sits on two of the three pins, providing a electric connection. A motherboard might have a default of the jumper on the first two pins, maintaining electrical power from the on-board battery (if you look at your motherboard, you should see the small circular battery just near the CMOS jumper) to the BIOS, in turn maintaining configuration settings (such as RAM timings, power management and other fun crap). If you move this jumper to the middle and last pin, the electrical connection is broken. When you put the jumper back on the first two pins, the BIOS settings are reset and magically (hopefully) everything works again.
So this is a great system has been working fine and dandy for a while. At least, I haven’t heard any complaints. But the great people at Gigabyte, in their infinite wisdom, decided to change up the design of the motherboard. Nothing major, it’s just a teeny-tiny, miniscule absolutely and totally unimportant change: they removed one of the pins. So the new procedure to clear the CMOS is the following:
No jumper/open: BIOS settings remain the same
Jumper: Resets BIOS settings
Yes, wonderful. So here I am, frustrated as all hell at my computer being retarded and insisting on random BSODs, trying to find the problem and assuming that perhaps a BIOS reset would do it. I crouched down and open up the case. After locating the little battery, by which time I am covered in dust and in no mood for jokes, I discover this silly little two-pronged bit. Right. Awesome. I get up and go looking for a jumper. Yes, strange, I don’t have a jumper handy. I mean, doesn’t everyone?
Nevermind, I kept all the original bits that came with the motherboard (and there were a lot) in the box. I’ll just get the extra jumper that was included with the motherboard.
I’m sure you see where this is going.
THEY DIDN’T INCLUDE A FUCKING JUMPER! WTF? No, really, what.the.fuck. Was Amy Winehouse designing this thing? What crackhead decided to make this ‘valuable improvement’ and not think to include an extra jumper? How fucking retarded do you have to be? Fucking hell. The only thing I can think of is, due to the tinyness of the jumper, it was lost. WHICH IS WHY YOU HAVE A RESET FUNCTION WHICH PLACES THE JUMPER ON THE MOTHERBOARD SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO LOOKING FOR THE DAMN THING! ARG!
Anyone have a spare jumper?
And while I’m at it:
Dear other crackheads,
Why did you make it so difficult to resolve IRQ conflicts?Because if you can't do it properly in the first place, at least let me try to fix it.
I fucking hate designers.
While motherboard designers usually don't encounter quite the same aesthetic expectations that, say, a fashion designer may run in to, they are restricted to chucking in as many features into the ATX form factor. One would assume that corporate has some expectations on cost, so said designer has to remain cognizant of the benefit/cost ratio.
Still, there is just no excuse for the fucking piece of crap CMOS clear function that some moron put onto my motherboard. See, for years there’s been this great little function on every motherboard: if you fuck up your BIOS, you can reset it by moving this little jumper on your motherboard.
Exhibit A:
| | | (<---- pins)
|_| (<---- jumper)
So the jumper sits on two of the three pins, providing a electric connection. A motherboard might have a default of the jumper on the first two pins, maintaining electrical power from the on-board battery (if you look at your motherboard, you should see the small circular battery just near the CMOS jumper) to the BIOS, in turn maintaining configuration settings (such as RAM timings, power management and other fun crap). If you move this jumper to the middle and last pin, the electrical connection is broken. When you put the jumper back on the first two pins, the BIOS settings are reset and magically (hopefully) everything works again.
So this is a great system has been working fine and dandy for a while. At least, I haven’t heard any complaints. But the great people at Gigabyte, in their infinite wisdom, decided to change up the design of the motherboard. Nothing major, it’s just a teeny-tiny, miniscule absolutely and totally unimportant change: they removed one of the pins. So the new procedure to clear the CMOS is the following:
No jumper/open: BIOS settings remain the same
Jumper: Resets BIOS settings
Yes, wonderful. So here I am, frustrated as all hell at my computer being retarded and insisting on random BSODs, trying to find the problem and assuming that perhaps a BIOS reset would do it. I crouched down and open up the case. After locating the little battery, by which time I am covered in dust and in no mood for jokes, I discover this silly little two-pronged bit. Right. Awesome. I get up and go looking for a jumper. Yes, strange, I don’t have a jumper handy. I mean, doesn’t everyone?
Nevermind, I kept all the original bits that came with the motherboard (and there were a lot) in the box. I’ll just get the extra jumper that was included with the motherboard.
I’m sure you see where this is going.
THEY DIDN’T INCLUDE A FUCKING JUMPER! WTF? No, really, what.the.fuck. Was Amy Winehouse designing this thing? What crackhead decided to make this ‘valuable improvement’ and not think to include an extra jumper? How fucking retarded do you have to be? Fucking hell. The only thing I can think of is, due to the tinyness of the jumper, it was lost. WHICH IS WHY YOU HAVE A RESET FUNCTION WHICH PLACES THE JUMPER ON THE MOTHERBOARD SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO LOOKING FOR THE DAMN THING! ARG!
Anyone have a spare jumper?
And while I’m at it:
Dear other crackheads,
Why did you make it so difficult to resolve IRQ conflicts?Because if you can't do it properly in the first place, at least let me try to fix it.
I fucking hate designers.