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[beatification]

The feeling of being inadequate overwhelms me. Once again, I was a bundle of nerves this afternoon before my second appointment with the First Patient Ever. I'm totally fine with interacting with the patient - in fact, I like it much more than I anticipated - but I. Feel. So. Dumb

Comments

[csn]

Hey!

Be kind to your self.

[csn]

This should cheer you up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mF6FX0gnrZQ

[beatification]

Wow that's amazing!! It must be so good live.

[csn]

I'm moving! And re-evaluating everything in my life. Today I had a phone call with my dad in which he basically berated me for being unemployed, and my decision to move in with a friend of mine until I can afford to pay rent, which basically comes back to his parenting mindset of, "It doesn't matter how the general state of things is or what other people are dealing with, it is our implicit understanding that you are supposed to be better, smarter, more successful than everyone else around you, so to lump yourself in with other people automatically makes you a failure

[beatification]

Do I ever. It's one thing to experience uncertainty in your life, as you are moving from one place to another, but it's quite another when a parental figure drills it into you that you are a failure. Their perception of your life is so skewed but after awhile it makes you question yourself and wonder if they are right to berate you after all.

Isn't it their job to be right all the time? ... Despite of their good intentions, the stuff they say may not be right for you. My parents hate it when I don't "consult" them for my "life decisions" and when I don't necessarily follow their life advice.

But you know....there is always the pinging guilt that gnaws at you. But what do you do. There is no time like the present and I can't live my mom's life.

Anyway, are you staying in SF?