Back at home...
Home is quiet: frustrating and almost hostile at the worst, and awkwardly cheery at the best. There's a tendency to gravitate away from each other and bury ourselves in our own little worlds--my mother, watching chinese soaps on the television, my sister, drawing and playing games at her desk, and me at my computer, trying to pretend like I'm still in Davis. Even when one of us reaches out--my mother calling me over to teach me how to cook something, for example--it's always a little stiff, like I'm not quite sure what to do with myself or what to say.
Then my dad comes home and it's literally as if someone turned on the lights in a dark house. My mom starts joking around again, and I can't stop smiling. There's no more awkwardness, and the realization of how different it is when my dad is home is so overwhelming that for a second I almost feel bad for feeling so relieved. It's kind of weird, the feeling I get whenever he comes back home: relief, guilt, happiness, and a little bit of anger that we have to be glad he's home, instead of being able to take it for granted like other families.
BUT oh well. That's my revelation of the day. Reading back over it, it kind of makes my home life sound really depressing and despondent, which it isn't, not usually. It's just very different when my dad is home compared to when he is. Much quieter, more low key.
On another note: Finished the Abhorsen Trilogy the day before yesterday. Am now starting on The Inheritance of Loss, Whistling in the Dark, Atonement, and Smashed--yay!
Then my dad comes home and it's literally as if someone turned on the lights in a dark house. My mom starts joking around again, and I can't stop smiling. There's no more awkwardness, and the realization of how different it is when my dad is home is so overwhelming that for a second I almost feel bad for feeling so relieved. It's kind of weird, the feeling I get whenever he comes back home: relief, guilt, happiness, and a little bit of anger that we have to be glad he's home, instead of being able to take it for granted like other families.
BUT oh well. That's my revelation of the day. Reading back over it, it kind of makes my home life sound really depressing and despondent, which it isn't, not usually. It's just very different when my dad is home compared to when he is. Much quieter, more low key.
On another note: Finished the Abhorsen Trilogy the day before yesterday. Am now starting on The Inheritance of Loss, Whistling in the Dark, Atonement, and Smashed--yay!