(no subject)
I do not know what it is with this week, but my god I cannot be pulled out of this funk. It's not even rational. It is just this emptiness and sadness. Why do I always write in this thing when I am sad? If going by this livejournal a person would think I was the saddest person in the world. I really am not, by any means.
All I want to do is listen to Radiohead. I always love Radiohead. They are my favorite band in the world, but I want to listen to them now for the pain and the torture of Thom Yorke. How sick is that? I am disturbing myself. "Fake Plastic Trees" anyone?
I dread Mondays. I more than dread Mondays. I wish death upon them. Twelve hours on campus. Moot Court. Starting the day with Public Administration. Ending the day with American Cultural History. Worst day ever. Someone find me some motivation.
So this thing happened tonight that was rather strange. I am pretty sure it was an impostor. He's such a liar.
Election is on Tuesday. I'm trying to prepare myself for disappointment as unlikely as it may seem. I cannot put my complete faith in the American people after 2004.
My brother might be moving to Michigan. Even though I never see him and he lives in the Bay Area this is going to be devastating for me. He's my brother. I've always looked up to him. I want him to be able to buy a house where he can raise his children, but I don't want hiim to be so far away. It's purely selfish, but he's my brother.
I think that's part of what I am finding hard to cope with these days. Getting old. Everyone in my life, including myself, is getting old and I feel like I am going nowhere. My brother got married and may be moving to Michigan. He's talking about having babies. My sister is graduating law school and has a job lined up at a law firm and has a great boyfriend. My mom just got hearing aides. My dad just had heart surgery last year. I am graduating college and have absolutely nothing lined up afterwards. I know I am not staying in Southern California, but where am I going? When did we all get so old? When did I become an adult? Why do I still feel like I'm 18? Why am I so fucking afraid of failure?
I am done with the sad writing. If you read all this, you're crazy! Tomorrow I am getting myself out of this PMS funk! Being a woman is miserable and men will never understand.
All I want to do is listen to Radiohead. I always love Radiohead. They are my favorite band in the world, but I want to listen to them now for the pain and the torture of Thom Yorke. How sick is that? I am disturbing myself. "Fake Plastic Trees" anyone?
I dread Mondays. I more than dread Mondays. I wish death upon them. Twelve hours on campus. Moot Court. Starting the day with Public Administration. Ending the day with American Cultural History. Worst day ever. Someone find me some motivation.
So this thing happened tonight that was rather strange. I am pretty sure it was an impostor. He's such a liar.
Election is on Tuesday. I'm trying to prepare myself for disappointment as unlikely as it may seem. I cannot put my complete faith in the American people after 2004.
My brother might be moving to Michigan. Even though I never see him and he lives in the Bay Area this is going to be devastating for me. He's my brother. I've always looked up to him. I want him to be able to buy a house where he can raise his children, but I don't want hiim to be so far away. It's purely selfish, but he's my brother.
I think that's part of what I am finding hard to cope with these days. Getting old. Everyone in my life, including myself, is getting old and I feel like I am going nowhere. My brother got married and may be moving to Michigan. He's talking about having babies. My sister is graduating law school and has a job lined up at a law firm and has a great boyfriend. My mom just got hearing aides. My dad just had heart surgery last year. I am graduating college and have absolutely nothing lined up afterwards. I know I am not staying in Southern California, but where am I going? When did we all get so old? When did I become an adult? Why do I still feel like I'm 18? Why am I so fucking afraid of failure?
I am done with the sad writing. If you read all this, you're crazy! Tomorrow I am getting myself out of this PMS funk! Being a woman is miserable and men will never understand.