More things that bring about nostalgia
So, yet another friend of mine, V, is signing up for his doom getting married this weekend. This one's probably the one friend I've known the longest - 26 of my 28 years on earth. We met at kindergarten (or Baby Nursery as it's known here) at age 2, became friends, luckily got pushed into the same classes all the way up until Grade 7. Grade 8 to 10 we were in adjacent classes, 11-12 in different Pre-Univ colleges, did our Undergrad college (or Graduate colleges as we insist on calling them in India), and so on.. Anyway, we *Are* literally "Chaddi Buddies" I suppose! If I go for a deeper analysis, I realize we aren't terribly close, like long-standing friends would likely be. We are good pals, hang out often and all that, but we don't usually talk talk..Y'know the serious, personal emotional stuff. We're on different wavelengths, but still good friends..
Anyway, since I'm the oldest (durationwise speaking of course) friend he has, I'm the default wingman best man (or the Indian equivalent anyway) at his wedding, which doesn't really mean much except I stick around the whole time, teasing him and stuff like that.
Now, during the course of the pre-wedding activities, V insisted I tag along while he went to invite old high school teachers of ours, to his wedding. If things turn out as we planned, and they all come there, it will be one big old teacher reunion out there.Which, I think, is pretty cool. Now, I was the quintessential geek in school, occasionally the teachers' pet (not very often though, considering I almost never wrote my notes, did my homework, etc, and was often in trouble for that), cause I loved school, did well in my exams, was a bookworm, and on the school quiz team. So, I suppose I'm not one of the kids who dreads meeting their old teachers.. I was surprised, though not a lot, when all of them recognized us. By name.
Meeting one former teacher after the other, visiting them at home, or at work (if they were still teaching) was just so much fun, I'll admit. Initially I was a bit apprehensive, but I was fairly surprised they still remembered both of us, considering it's been 12 years since we graduated from High School. Of course, they remembered me as the geeky quizzer who represented the school at BQC way back then. Not really the best way to be remembered, but I suppose it's better than being remembered as the idiot savant who used to eat glue in art class I suppose!
Catching up with our former teachers, reminiscing about the time we spent in school, the trouble we got into, the fun we had, the lessons we learned, the values we learned.. We had food with them, talked about our lives, our hopes and dreams, caught up with their stories and talked a lot. I'm glad we're among the handful of students who're still in touch with their guides. It seems like a pretty inconsequential thing, but trust me.. It's gratifying. You don't really realize the value of the things you learned from them, till you meet them again and think about it all.
So many memories, so many things to be grateful about. Now, they treat us like friends, and we see them as older people we learned lessons from. The signs of age lining their faces is a bit disheartening to some of us. We remember them as the active sirs and ma'ams who taught us right from wrong, raised us along with our parents, taught us lessons of life, values to live by, things to do, and things not to do. We feared them then, respected them, adored some, hated some with a vengeance.. Now it all seems so long ago.. We were (mostly) innocent, naive kids then, lumps of wet clay they molded into pieces of art. Some broke, some turned out great, many turned out to become mundane pieces of pottery that find use in daily life. All a far cry from what we were as kids.
Another trend I noticed is that *all* the teachers were/are wishing for batches like ours. Apparently, we were among the best batches they ever taught, and they all claim the quality of kids is degrading every year. Some, who are still teaching, lament about how disrespectful, arrogant and uncaring the currently studying kids are. They say they have to handle kids who talk to them rudely, blackmail them emotionally, threatening to commit suicide, etc, unruly noisy kids who they can't lay a finger on, thanks to the kids' overzealous parents, etc. A far cry from when we were kids.
I remember we were a very disciplined lot. Agreed, it came from fear of getting slapped by the PE teacher, Mr. Joseph, who we all feared and hated. He was every student's nightmare. A strict disciplinarian, taskmaster, demanded grudging fear-tinged respect and above all, obedience. There were very few kids who dared to stir up trouble when he was still employed with school. His name was literally whispered in hushed silence, and a quick look from him would silence the most unruly of kids. His iron hand (and palm which would leave a mark on the face lasting hours) were legendary stories. I think in terms of discipline, our school had its golden years with him around. And a lot of my peers and teachers agree. In fact, I remember being at the receiving end of the Iron Palm when I got caught "testing" paper planes out of my third floor classroom - and it happened to crash-land into a teacher on the ground floor. Whoops! If almost all of my peers turned out to be decent law-abiding non-miscreant citizens, we can thank Mr. Joseph for a big share in that regard. Unfortunately, a few years later, after our graduation, he was suspended over allegations of hitting a kid "too hard and inflicting emotional trauma" on him. I happened to come across him once a few years ago, and was shocked that he remembered me. Which is pretty wild, considering I was the kid who skipped PE classes to go hide in the library. He greeted me warmly and we talked then.. Not at all the scary monster with the Iron Fist of legend.
The teachers blame the current state of affairs on the kids of course. No surprises there. And it's pretty valid too. The popular media seems to have given the kids a fucked up idea about life. I personally have seen kids threatening suicide, threatening teachers with violence, blackmailing them, begging for an easy way out, hunting shortcuts, etc. Last month, we had two undergrad kids, barely 18, try to elope, get caught, got a talking to from their respective Department Chairs, and funnily for the onlookers, the girl started a filmi rhetoric, lambasting the poor boy for saying he'd "sacrifice his love in favor of his studies for now". Funny at that point, but in retrospect, it shows how much impact the trashy media fare is having on the teenagers..
The parents aren't really helping either, in many cases, I notice.. The teachers say the current students' parents are more indifferent and into bribing their kids rather than helping them personally or punishing them. A number of parents seem to have returned from abroad, and try to impose those values/conditions on their kids here. Which rarely works.
The no-spanking, no-strict discipline rule being the most ridiculous one. The kids know this and threaten to report the teachers for violent assault if they even raise their hand. I remember we were disciplined with a firm hand. We regularly were treated to doses of caning, wooden rulers rapped on the knuckles, kneeling down in the gravel, hands above our heads, slapped on the rare occasion when we got really unruly. Hey.. We didn't turn out so bad, did we? Face it, parents.. Controlled corporal punishment works wonders. Pampering your kids and telling them to behave or they get to go to their well-stocked rooms without food rarely works.
Of course, the working parents who don't have enough time or energy to spend with their kids, who let nannies take care of them, and give the kids money or rewards for behaving can be very well blamed too.
One teacher recalled an incident that happened a couple of days ago. Apparently, a US-returned mother of a two year old, came complaining to the headmistress, demanding that the school start interviewing and screening 2 year old kids before admitting them to school, claiming her own 2-year old was learning bad language from other kids. The lady apparently went on with a long rant about how things were so great back in the US, and later said she was teaching her kid to hit back if some other kid hit her kid. Apparently, complaining to the teacher wasn't enough, and she wanted her kid to be independent and proactive. Bizarrely enough, she even claimed that she was "training" her kid to hit other kids in defense, by making her two-year old hit and break dolls around the house. Funny as it sounds, it seems disturbing in retrospect. If the parents themselves are this messed up, what chance do their kids have?
In any case, I'm now thankful to have a dad who disciplined me with a leather strop on rare occasions, who made me stand outside the house for hours when I did something bad, etc, teachers who demanded (and got) respect, grudgingly or otherwise, a PE teacher I feared, and parents who encouraged me to learn, and teachers who taught me the values of life.
If I am anything close to being a good human being, they can take most of the credit for it. Coincidentally, this Thanksgiving (in the US anyway), they're what I'm thankful for!
Anyway, since I'm the oldest (durationwise speaking of course) friend he has, I'm the default wingman best man (or the Indian equivalent anyway) at his wedding, which doesn't really mean much except I stick around the whole time, teasing him and stuff like that.
Now, during the course of the pre-wedding activities, V insisted I tag along while he went to invite old high school teachers of ours, to his wedding. If things turn out as we planned, and they all come there, it will be one big old teacher reunion out there.Which, I think, is pretty cool. Now, I was the quintessential geek in school, occasionally the teachers' pet (not very often though, considering I almost never wrote my notes, did my homework, etc, and was often in trouble for that), cause I loved school, did well in my exams, was a bookworm, and on the school quiz team. So, I suppose I'm not one of the kids who dreads meeting their old teachers.. I was surprised, though not a lot, when all of them recognized us. By name.
Meeting one former teacher after the other, visiting them at home, or at work (if they were still teaching) was just so much fun, I'll admit. Initially I was a bit apprehensive, but I was fairly surprised they still remembered both of us, considering it's been 12 years since we graduated from High School. Of course, they remembered me as the geeky quizzer who represented the school at BQC way back then. Not really the best way to be remembered, but I suppose it's better than being remembered as the idiot savant who used to eat glue in art class I suppose!
Catching up with our former teachers, reminiscing about the time we spent in school, the trouble we got into, the fun we had, the lessons we learned, the values we learned.. We had food with them, talked about our lives, our hopes and dreams, caught up with their stories and talked a lot. I'm glad we're among the handful of students who're still in touch with their guides. It seems like a pretty inconsequential thing, but trust me.. It's gratifying. You don't really realize the value of the things you learned from them, till you meet them again and think about it all.
So many memories, so many things to be grateful about. Now, they treat us like friends, and we see them as older people we learned lessons from. The signs of age lining their faces is a bit disheartening to some of us. We remember them as the active sirs and ma'ams who taught us right from wrong, raised us along with our parents, taught us lessons of life, values to live by, things to do, and things not to do. We feared them then, respected them, adored some, hated some with a vengeance.. Now it all seems so long ago.. We were (mostly) innocent, naive kids then, lumps of wet clay they molded into pieces of art. Some broke, some turned out great, many turned out to become mundane pieces of pottery that find use in daily life. All a far cry from what we were as kids.
Another trend I noticed is that *all* the teachers were/are wishing for batches like ours. Apparently, we were among the best batches they ever taught, and they all claim the quality of kids is degrading every year. Some, who are still teaching, lament about how disrespectful, arrogant and uncaring the currently studying kids are. They say they have to handle kids who talk to them rudely, blackmail them emotionally, threatening to commit suicide, etc, unruly noisy kids who they can't lay a finger on, thanks to the kids' overzealous parents, etc. A far cry from when we were kids.
I remember we were a very disciplined lot. Agreed, it came from fear of getting slapped by the PE teacher, Mr. Joseph, who we all feared and hated. He was every student's nightmare. A strict disciplinarian, taskmaster, demanded grudging fear-tinged respect and above all, obedience. There were very few kids who dared to stir up trouble when he was still employed with school. His name was literally whispered in hushed silence, and a quick look from him would silence the most unruly of kids. His iron hand (and palm which would leave a mark on the face lasting hours) were legendary stories. I think in terms of discipline, our school had its golden years with him around. And a lot of my peers and teachers agree. In fact, I remember being at the receiving end of the Iron Palm when I got caught "testing" paper planes out of my third floor classroom - and it happened to crash-land into a teacher on the ground floor. Whoops! If almost all of my peers turned out to be decent law-abiding non-miscreant citizens, we can thank Mr. Joseph for a big share in that regard. Unfortunately, a few years later, after our graduation, he was suspended over allegations of hitting a kid "too hard and inflicting emotional trauma" on him. I happened to come across him once a few years ago, and was shocked that he remembered me. Which is pretty wild, considering I was the kid who skipped PE classes to go hide in the library. He greeted me warmly and we talked then.. Not at all the scary monster with the Iron Fist of legend.
The teachers blame the current state of affairs on the kids of course. No surprises there. And it's pretty valid too. The popular media seems to have given the kids a fucked up idea about life. I personally have seen kids threatening suicide, threatening teachers with violence, blackmailing them, begging for an easy way out, hunting shortcuts, etc. Last month, we had two undergrad kids, barely 18, try to elope, get caught, got a talking to from their respective Department Chairs, and funnily for the onlookers, the girl started a filmi rhetoric, lambasting the poor boy for saying he'd "sacrifice his love in favor of his studies for now". Funny at that point, but in retrospect, it shows how much impact the trashy media fare is having on the teenagers..
The parents aren't really helping either, in many cases, I notice.. The teachers say the current students' parents are more indifferent and into bribing their kids rather than helping them personally or punishing them. A number of parents seem to have returned from abroad, and try to impose those values/conditions on their kids here. Which rarely works.
The no-spanking, no-strict discipline rule being the most ridiculous one. The kids know this and threaten to report the teachers for violent assault if they even raise their hand. I remember we were disciplined with a firm hand. We regularly were treated to doses of caning, wooden rulers rapped on the knuckles, kneeling down in the gravel, hands above our heads, slapped on the rare occasion when we got really unruly. Hey.. We didn't turn out so bad, did we? Face it, parents.. Controlled corporal punishment works wonders. Pampering your kids and telling them to behave or they get to go to their well-stocked rooms without food rarely works.
Of course, the working parents who don't have enough time or energy to spend with their kids, who let nannies take care of them, and give the kids money or rewards for behaving can be very well blamed too.
One teacher recalled an incident that happened a couple of days ago. Apparently, a US-returned mother of a two year old, came complaining to the headmistress, demanding that the school start interviewing and screening 2 year old kids before admitting them to school, claiming her own 2-year old was learning bad language from other kids. The lady apparently went on with a long rant about how things were so great back in the US, and later said she was teaching her kid to hit back if some other kid hit her kid. Apparently, complaining to the teacher wasn't enough, and she wanted her kid to be independent and proactive. Bizarrely enough, she even claimed that she was "training" her kid to hit other kids in defense, by making her two-year old hit and break dolls around the house. Funny as it sounds, it seems disturbing in retrospect. If the parents themselves are this messed up, what chance do their kids have?
In any case, I'm now thankful to have a dad who disciplined me with a leather strop on rare occasions, who made me stand outside the house for hours when I did something bad, etc, teachers who demanded (and got) respect, grudgingly or otherwise, a PE teacher I feared, and parents who encouraged me to learn, and teachers who taught me the values of life.
If I am anything close to being a good human being, they can take most of the credit for it. Coincidentally, this Thanksgiving (in the US anyway), they're what I'm thankful for!