Hey
Hey everyone!! it's been a while since I've last updated this thing. I'm graduating in 13 days. YAY!!! i can't wait. It's a bittersweet feeling. I can't wait to get away from all of the ignorant ppl of highschool. But I'll miss the little things. The random conversations w/friends. The laughter, the little things that made it worth getting up in the morning and actually showing up. I don't know how my life has gotten so confusing lately. I know I had problems w/my siblings and stuff but that effected me indirectly.
Why is it that when you go out w/one guy or one guy seems interested that others seem to follow and it just confuses you even more. Because you find something in them that'll attract you to them more than the others. Then you don't know what to do or tell the others b/c your afraid of hurting them I'd love to have them as friends but I don't know. I always seem to put other people's feelings ahead of mine. I know that is setting myself up to get hurt. I should just lay it out there and tell them that I don't like them like that. Oh and what gives a guy the right when your just hangin out w/them or what-not and they try and make out w/you. They know that your not interested in them but they do it anyway. And when you push them away they say, "that's ok we can hook up this summer" um no don't think so. That is not gonna happen. You are not gonna ruin my summer like that. B/c I can't get away from this guy. He's gonna be on my summer league swim team. GRRRR. That is my get away from everything. Why does he have to come into my world like that. It'll be interesting. I'm definetly telling him where we are at. B/c I am not hookin up w/him at all. He is not the guy I need to be with. He's too pushy. I need someone who is gonna put God first. I need a relationship that has started out as a friendship b/c that is the only way, I feel, that you will truly get to know someone without all of the pressures of them trying to impress you. They have seen you are your best and at your worst.You know their good and bad qualities. And if something happens then it happens. But I find that I have a tendency to push guys away when i find that they like me. I need someone who is not afraid to pull me back in. Not to hard b/c they will lose me. But just enough for me to not pull away anymore. I dunno. This is stuff that has been on my mind for the past couple of weeks. and now I'm just rambling. I'll try and update soon.
Why is it that when you go out w/one guy or one guy seems interested that others seem to follow and it just confuses you even more. Because you find something in them that'll attract you to them more than the others. Then you don't know what to do or tell the others b/c your afraid of hurting them I'd love to have them as friends but I don't know. I always seem to put other people's feelings ahead of mine. I know that is setting myself up to get hurt. I should just lay it out there and tell them that I don't like them like that. Oh and what gives a guy the right when your just hangin out w/them or what-not and they try and make out w/you. They know that your not interested in them but they do it anyway. And when you push them away they say, "that's ok we can hook up this summer" um no don't think so. That is not gonna happen. You are not gonna ruin my summer like that. B/c I can't get away from this guy. He's gonna be on my summer league swim team. GRRRR. That is my get away from everything. Why does he have to come into my world like that. It'll be interesting. I'm definetly telling him where we are at. B/c I am not hookin up w/him at all. He is not the guy I need to be with. He's too pushy. I need someone who is gonna put God first. I need a relationship that has started out as a friendship b/c that is the only way, I feel, that you will truly get to know someone without all of the pressures of them trying to impress you. They have seen you are your best and at your worst.You know their good and bad qualities. And if something happens then it happens. But I find that I have a tendency to push guys away when i find that they like me. I need someone who is not afraid to pull me back in. Not to hard b/c they will lose me. But just enough for me to not pull away anymore. I dunno. This is stuff that has been on my mind for the past couple of weeks. and now I'm just rambling. I'll try and update soon.