Being manly
So I was watching a documentary on Showtime called 'The O Tapes' and it really got me thinking. It proved such a counterpoint to the whole 'Snickers' commercial debate that has been going on.
The documentary itself is about women and their sexuality and it's fairly explicit. The thing is I couldn't stop watching. It was mesmerizing to listen to these women tell their personal stories of sexual discovery, awakening and truly what it feels like for a girl. It's really a human story, not a 'female' story. I could relate to the confusion of growing up, getting no guidance from my elders, the dissatisfaction of the 'first time' I had sex, having to navigate throught the pool of dating behaviour and the process of discovering what my own joy is.
It ocurrs to me that, in western society, no...even more than that, in modern civilization, when you really think about it...men have this terrible burden to bear. It is such a heavy burden that it has oppressed women for centuries and distorted our interactions with each other. The burden is this:
In almost every interaction, transaction or task we try to accomplish, we have to PROVE that we are a man.
I WAS going to just say in 'western society' but really, this is evident in almost every culture, through out the modern world. It's pervasive, down to the very things we build. If you don't believe me, look at the skyline of the downtown in your own city. What do all those skyscrapers remind you of?
The debates we had weeks ago about being butch or not...the ongoing debates about those stupid Snickers commercials...the whole 'bear or not' debates....
It seems to me, that any of us shouldn't have to prove anything. If we do, we should only have to present evidence of our humanity: are we compassionate?, are we dependable?, are we open?, can we love? I'm discovering that these things matter more to me than whether someone things I'm manly.
The documentary itself is about women and their sexuality and it's fairly explicit. The thing is I couldn't stop watching. It was mesmerizing to listen to these women tell their personal stories of sexual discovery, awakening and truly what it feels like for a girl. It's really a human story, not a 'female' story. I could relate to the confusion of growing up, getting no guidance from my elders, the dissatisfaction of the 'first time' I had sex, having to navigate throught the pool of dating behaviour and the process of discovering what my own joy is.
It ocurrs to me that, in western society, no...even more than that, in modern civilization, when you really think about it...men have this terrible burden to bear. It is such a heavy burden that it has oppressed women for centuries and distorted our interactions with each other. The burden is this:
In almost every interaction, transaction or task we try to accomplish, we have to PROVE that we are a man.
I WAS going to just say in 'western society' but really, this is evident in almost every culture, through out the modern world. It's pervasive, down to the very things we build. If you don't believe me, look at the skyline of the downtown in your own city. What do all those skyscrapers remind you of?
The debates we had weeks ago about being butch or not...the ongoing debates about those stupid Snickers commercials...the whole 'bear or not' debates....
It seems to me, that any of us shouldn't have to prove anything. If we do, we should only have to present evidence of our humanity: are we compassionate?, are we dependable?, are we open?, can we love? I'm discovering that these things matter more to me than whether someone things I'm manly.