I never thought that poetry would ever mirror my life so closely.
I've borrowed some of the words of Christiaan Van Vuuren, as it explains my life perfectly at the moment.
"Some days I'm proud of the man in my reflection
I see a man who is full of life and full of passion
A man that makes light of this heavy situation
And one who lights the darkness to search for inspiration
His head held high, not being a slave to this condition
And not allowing it to affect him, he's occupied by distraction
He'll never be a victim of a microscopic faction
Whose microscopic actions cause these global repercussions
And every action in our lives will result in a reaction
And sometimes an addition will result in a substraction
The addition of strength right now is a protection mechanism
To substract from his fear and turn it into optimism.
And the tiniest of ripples can become a tidal wave
And the softest of whispers can take him away
But when the flights of fantasy finally wear off
He finds himself in this room where he left off.
Today in this mirror there's a man I don't recognise
He's a boy wearing the body of man for a disguise
And this is a boy for whom I can't help but sympathise
For it's the apparent strength of mind on which this poor boy relies
And these eyes in the mirror that stare back at me
No longer offer the strength and the comfort I long to see
Just a patient, a broken spirit, longing for sympathy
Someone to save me from sinking in self-pity
But too proud to accept pity and not wanting weakness to be seen
I'll wrap myself up in an artificial well-being
Because it's better than seeing myself as a weak human being
So I'll just keep on smiling and I'll keep on agreeing
That's everything's okay and that I'm feeling fine
Because I know there are hundreds of thousands that are left to die
Who won't even get themselves a right to a medical file
Or see a doctor, or a nurse or see anyone, and meanwhile
I can choose to be a victim, cursed from the beginning
Or can face up to fear and do all my own forgiving
For the risks I have taken, and the mistakes that I've made
And for the errors of our brothers and sisters of yesterday
Because the earth will still continue in its destined revolutions
And us quick little humans pursue the fastest solutions
And mark tiny ticks on paper next to massive global problems
Creating new illusions instead of solving them
And that's the train of thought that might keep me up tonight
But I refuse to lose sight of the battle I have to fight
And in my own little victory I will win myself the right
To see a man in the mirror, not a boy that hides inside."
- Christiaan Van Vuuren
"Some days I'm proud of the man in my reflection
I see a man who is full of life and full of passion
A man that makes light of this heavy situation
And one who lights the darkness to search for inspiration
His head held high, not being a slave to this condition
And not allowing it to affect him, he's occupied by distraction
He'll never be a victim of a microscopic faction
Whose microscopic actions cause these global repercussions
And every action in our lives will result in a reaction
And sometimes an addition will result in a substraction
The addition of strength right now is a protection mechanism
To substract from his fear and turn it into optimism.
And the tiniest of ripples can become a tidal wave
And the softest of whispers can take him away
But when the flights of fantasy finally wear off
He finds himself in this room where he left off.
Today in this mirror there's a man I don't recognise
He's a boy wearing the body of man for a disguise
And this is a boy for whom I can't help but sympathise
For it's the apparent strength of mind on which this poor boy relies
And these eyes in the mirror that stare back at me
No longer offer the strength and the comfort I long to see
Just a patient, a broken spirit, longing for sympathy
Someone to save me from sinking in self-pity
But too proud to accept pity and not wanting weakness to be seen
I'll wrap myself up in an artificial well-being
Because it's better than seeing myself as a weak human being
So I'll just keep on smiling and I'll keep on agreeing
That's everything's okay and that I'm feeling fine
Because I know there are hundreds of thousands that are left to die
Who won't even get themselves a right to a medical file
Or see a doctor, or a nurse or see anyone, and meanwhile
I can choose to be a victim, cursed from the beginning
Or can face up to fear and do all my own forgiving
For the risks I have taken, and the mistakes that I've made
And for the errors of our brothers and sisters of yesterday
Because the earth will still continue in its destined revolutions
And us quick little humans pursue the fastest solutions
And mark tiny ticks on paper next to massive global problems
Creating new illusions instead of solving them
And that's the train of thought that might keep me up tonight
But I refuse to lose sight of the battle I have to fight
And in my own little victory I will win myself the right
To see a man in the mirror, not a boy that hides inside."
- Christiaan Van Vuuren